Why Are Most Men Bad at Sex

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Introduction

We can agree that while the experience is useful, but it's not the only thing that's needed. Even the guys who are really sexually experienced make mistakes. And it is even worse when they eventually have to learn that the harder way. So, in order to avoid that, we bring you some of the biggest male mistakes that, unfortunately for our females, happens continuously.

Assuming that they know everything

With every new encounter, new experiences are coming. But female sexuality is very complex and it is a very personal thing which is different from person to person. Female's bodies react differently to different kinds of arousal. And their very anatomy is different from one to another. Something that was feeling good for one of them doesn't have to feel good for another one. Also, there is no unique position that will work for everybody. She will sometimes want to try a different position for a variety of reasons. So let her choose what she wants to do, as she will know what works for her the best.

Not enough talking about sex

Many couples seek professional help, just so that they could have open conversations about sex. There is no point in mentioning that those situations could've easily been avoided if they were comfortable to express their needs and wishes. And men often don't know what to say or how to respond if she says something during sex. But you can always ask some short simple questions like if she likes something. What excites her the most? What she doesn't like? Don't be afraid to try different approaches to the things that you did before. Try one variation, and then another, and see how it works. Not so complicated after all? Also, a lot of the guys think that they should be silent during sex and that the accidental sounds only happen to their significant others. But this is so far from the truth. And also, you should be the one to initiate the conversation about sex, and during sex as well. So, in order to make sure what really works for your partner, start with simple things. Maybe she wants you to go slower. Or faster? Or you're being too rough. Or maybe too gentle? For the beginning, everything is better than silence and false assumptions.

Other actions

Guys often think that the quality of sex depends only on their performance in bed. But they tend to forget that sex is much more than just a physical act, especially for women. They get so focused around that, and all the other important things get ignored. Women are much more in touch with their emotions. If she is not connected to you, the sex will not be that good for her. She needs to relax in order to enjoy, and she won't be able to fully relax if her thoughts and emotions aren't in the same state as well. And your every-day behavior will also follow you into the bedroom as well. She will be thinking about your actions during the past hour, day or week. For example, if you perhaps disappointed her in some way, don't expect that she will be all over you in bed. As they say, the foreplay starts much before the actual touching and kissing. Also, it is not always a moment to have sex. Choosing a good time is very important! Many women have complained about how their partner initiates sex and starts touching them while having sex is the last thing that they would do at that moment.

Guys think of it as a chore

Do you ever get that feeling that you are stuck in that same boring routine that you would rather not have sex? This is how you destroy the fun in intimate life. After some time, guys start to think of sex like a mission that they have to accomplish in order to have an orgasm. Erection, foreplay, penetration and that would be the end of it. This is so wrong for many different reasons. After all, sex is much more than just penetration. Your main goal shouldn't be an orgasm, because it doesn't happen sometimes and that includes guys too. But that is completely normal, and you shouldn't have any other priority besides having a good time and connecting with your partner on many different levels. Also, some guys tend to get uncomfortable if their partner hasn't achieved an orgasm. On the other side, the women are saying that forcing an orgasm actually puts additional pressure and actually makes the whole situation even harder. Keep in mind that the orgasm isn't the only way in which she enjoys sex. Of course, the ideal scenario is when both sides get there, but it doesn't mean that the sex was bad if you or she didn't cum.

Comparison

A lot of guys simply lie about the number of partners that they had in the past. They will multiply that number many times. And somebody hearing or reading that could put them in a negative state of mind which will affect their confidence and make them feel bad and unhappy. They will start competing, even with their friends, and they will become obsessed with numbers. The number of partners, sizes, number of times during the day or week. And they want to make sure that their numbers are the biggest. And this is so far from the truth. Many things depend on age and relationship status. Partners who are together for years and decades will always have less sex than those who are together for a few months. The age is also important. Many people, as they get older, start to lose interest in having lots of sex, but it doesn't necessarily mean that the quality has dropped down. Having sex two times a week might seem a lot when you're single. But in a relationship, it seems like nothing. If you're already bothering yourself with all those numbers, take into the account your personal definition of "a lot."

Porn

And here it is, the biggest delusion which ruined so many sexual lives. People watch too much porn. But that's not even the issue. The true issue is that they think that they should do the same things that the actors are doing. And that they are not good enough if they don't look like those people. This especially affects younger populations. The truth is; the porn is as representative of sex as movies are representative of real life. First of all, those actors do that because it's their job. Many scenes are shot from tens of attempts, and everything is scripted. And you can even see it, those poor people aren't even enjoying it because they have the producer telling them what they should do, and how should they do it. Of course, only watching porn is not bad. You can also watch it together with her if she's into that. But don't ever think that the real sex looks like that.

See Also