How to Get Laid

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The Steps to Get laid

Essentially, what you need to do is:

  1. Approach a woman.
  2. Make her feel sexually attracted to you.
  3. Connect with her as a person.
  4. Escalate to a kiss.
  5. Get her to leave the bar, club or party with you.
  6. Bang her.

Top Advises How to Get Laid

1. Be yourself and you can be anything.

People can smell fakery like bad B.O., and no one wants to sleep with someone that stinks. Be yourself and not only will someone sleep with you, it will probably be someone that likes you and that you like in return, on account of all the truth and honesty and shared interests and ideas and fairies and glitter and puppies and salt & vinegar chips.

2. Don’t be a total dick.

Doesn’t count if you’re a total dick. If you’re a dick, DO NOT be yourself (that applies to your everyday life as much as it does to getting laid). People only want to sleep with dicks in a literal sense; being one figuratively will most certainly not get you laid.

3. Spend lots of money.

As much as people like to be “independent” and “self-sufficient,” there’s nothing romantic about splitting a bill on the first date. If you asked someone out, pay. Take them somewhere fancy and you increase what they owe you from head-job to sex.

4. Be good looking.

I live in the belief that no one is ugly, but I also acknowledge that some are more blessed with natural aesthetic than others. If you are one of these then GOOD FOR YOU! YOU’RE GOING TO GET LAID!

5. At the very least, smell good.

If you don’t look like a barbie, it’s OK (you’re still beautiful), make sure you’re extra clean.

6. Be chill.

DO NOT rock out with your cock out. DO NOT grind, on anything, ever. DO NOT be desperate. Basically, you want to strike a delicate balance between seeming like you’re not interested in sex while exuding a general air of “but would definitely be open to it.”

7. Ask nicely.

Sometimes, honesty is the best policy when it comes to fitting your genitals together with someone else’s. When you’re having a great time with someone and there’s a “vibe,” oftentimes both parties will wuss out and end up in bed alone dissecting the entire evening and wondering what went wrong (while probably also masturbating, maybe crying).

See Also