What if She Says No

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Well, let's face it, nobody likes rejection. Even if it is just a small thing that you asked for, getting rejected is not pleasant at all, especially when it comes from a girl that you like or the one that is already your girlfriend. While some of you might instantly get mad about it and start raging, it is never a good thing to do, especially if you just got to meet this chick. And her "no" for now doesn't mean it will stay like that forever. So, the first thing is to not lose your composure and cool, and just take it easy, whatever. And the other thing is, you should not be listening to what she is saying, but rather look at the way that she is saying it.

Initial reactions

So, you get that feeling of coldness when you ask for something, but you get declined. That happens to all of us sooner or later. But let's first take a look at what you shouldn't ever do if you want to turn that "no" into "yes" later on.

Don't be afraid of rejection

First and foremost, you need to keep in mind that rejection is something normal and that everybody is not for everybody. We all have the differences that set us apart from each other, but the other times they can bring us even closer. After all, you can't get something if you don't go for it. So, what do you have to lose anyway? It is better to try and get rejected than to not try and regret it when it's too late to do anything. You should always have this mindset that if you get rejected, it is the other side that is on the losing end. And never get your expectations too high. It is the exact reason why you are getting disappointed.

Don't get mad

This is the worst thing that you can do at that moment. It will blow your chances for any future opportunities that you could have. It is also a good way to ruin yourself in the eyes of her female friends and acquaintances that you might want to date later. She will share that with all of them, be sure of that! And that will be a huge warning for them. Women don't like guys who have any sort of anger management issues as they see them as a potential threat. Just control yourself. The truth is, she is allowed to say no if she doesn't want to do something that you proposed. Keep in mind that she doesn't owe you anything. Even if you were buying drinks for her the whole night, that doesn't mean that she now has to do your bidding. We've seen thousands of these cases, and they never end up for good if you don't stay collected. We're not defending them, of course, but you got to be real.

Don't think that you've done something wrong

This is even more important than not getting mad at her. Thinking that you've done something wrong will cause issues in future relationships and it will make you weak overall. You don't want to find yourself walking on eggshells whenever you want to do something. As we mentioned, there might be a million and one reasons behind her rejecting you. You can't always anticipate every possible outcome, and it is in your best interest to never think like that. It will kill your self-confidence in the long run, thus lowering your chances at getting quality girls around you. It is okay to go through everything once and try to figure out if you did something to piss her off, but you should never be dwelling on it and finding some stupid excuses for yourself.

Don't repeat your mistakes

If you thought about it, and eventually figured out that you've done something wrong, make sure to not do that again in the future. Making a mistake once is a way to learn. But making the same multiple mistakes just screams out that you have a lack of intellectual abilities. Even if the other side doesn't notice that you will end up asking yourself "what the hell is wrong with me?" And that is definitely not the situation that you want to be in. Not when there is plenty of other single girls around who might even be a better fit for you. And you definitely want to find out if that is true. You know how they say, practice makes perfect!

Don't thrash-talk her behind the back

This means that you don't talk about rejection in a bad way. That includes talking with your friends or her friends as well. It will only make you feel better in a short-term, but it will do more bad than good in the long span. You know, the word travels faster than the light these days. Act like a mature and grown-up man, and deal with it like the man. Putting others down to show yourself actually does the exact opposite: it says more about you than the one who was the subject of your thrash-talking. Leave the thrash-talking to little girls. They are probably better at that than you anyway.

Don't give up

Being rejected does hurt, indeed. But trust us, it will be worth it in the end. You don't want to let the fear paralyze you from taking any further actions. Of course, this doesn't mean that you should just keep bothering her with the same questions all the time. This never brings any good as well. But instead, try to find another way around the situation, and you will always get rewarded sooner or later!

Severity of the case

Now, let's handle the topic of how serious was her "no" and how you do play your way around it. Remember what we said at the beginning of this article? The way that she says "no" is much more important than the words itself. So, you should be always looking at her reactions and body language. It tells more in a second than a million words do.


This is more like a "maybe" than "no", because she doesn't spill it straight away. It often comes with some stupid excuses to as why she can't do something. This most likely means that she is not interested in that at the moment, or just needs some more time to get comfortable around you. You shouldn't push the issue too much here. Don't look at it as a big deal, but act in a playful and fun way that makes the big deal out of it. Try to make her talk more. They sometimes say "no" even if they actually want to do something. It is just to test you. And women do this almost all the time. What you should do here is to actually get back at her. Take something away from her as well. But do it in a friendly manner. You're not upset, but you are not going to let her get away so easily. You can also throw in a little smirk, why not!

The truth is, she is in a state of "I would rather do nothing than something stupid." And she needs the guidance. But it needs to be fun and interesting guidance and not the counseling. You are not her mentor, but her date/boyfriend/husband. Be a bit persistent but in a relaxed and friendly way. Tell her that she is missing something if she keeps that behavior going. Even if she sticks to her "no", you were manly and not afraid to go after your desires. And don't worry, you will get her to do that soon enough, she isn't even aware of that, yet.


She is being nice in her rejection as if she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. The tough thing is figuring out if she's just being nice and not interested, or she actually wants you to be a bit more persuasive, or you can read manly. This is most likely where you will make the most mistakes. But it is where the knowledge of body language comes in. If she starts to withdraw from you then she is definitely not interested. But if you can see that she is just teasing you, that means that you need to find a better way to get what you want. What you should do is accept the rejection like a man, but instead of making it a big deal like before, just make a small deal out of it. Like, you don't like her decision for a specific reason, but you just shrug it off in the end with a smile. However, this is not always guaranteed to work, as there are many possible outcomes. Some things just can't be learnt, and everybody's reactions are different.

Determined no

Well, you really got only two options in this situation, if this is the girl that you have not been involved with before. Just just walk away and move on from her because she doesn't understand what she's missing. And you will probably do this for the most part, because it is just more time-efficient. And you don't want to continue if you see that she doesn't like you. But if you really want to try, you need to use all the available tools in the best way possible. Try to bait her into getting more open to you, and then bring the time-restraint as well. Like you're not going to be around her for a long time. This will at least make her rethink the whole situation. This is very hard to pull-off, but not impossible at all. But you need to look like her "no" didn't touch you at all, and find a way to turn the situation around. Which is also not so easy to do especially if there are some emotions involved in your relationship already. Remember, take a good look at the situation. You need to think fast, as the timing is the most important thing here. You need to take every little detail into consideration. For example, if she has a really good reason to not do something, you need to find a way around it. And give her even better reason to do exactly that. So, always look for all small things that can get you advantage. The main goal is to tweak your approach in a more friendly way in order to make her concerns dissapear. This case is really what separates good from the best!


Getting rejected is not the end of the world. Even if you messed up so badly that she's gone into some sort of auto-rejection mode. Remember, keep it cool, make a good read on the situation. Don't take it too seriously. See what is the option that suits the moment the most and go for it. And make it look like you're actually having fun. Fake it 'till you make it is the golden advice here as well. Watch those "no, don't, can't" disappear and smile with the confidence like you knew that you had the situation under control all the time! Also, keep in mind that if you don't break her "no" immidiately, it doesn't mean that it will stay like that forever. Females change their mind like about pretty much anything for about ten times a day. Especially when they are in those days of a month. Weird, but we've seen it happen multiple times. You can never know what tomorrow brings. Maybe you will just walk with a friend of yours, and she will see the two of you and get jealous, and actually get at you next time. That's why you just need to keep it cool. Patience is your new best friend as well!

See Also