Top 10 Excuses How to Get Rid of Girls After Sex
One thing that can be really awkward for a guy is getting a girl to leave your place after you've slept with her. We've all been there, you've had one too many at the bar and picked up a girl for what you think would be a really fun one night stand only for her to turn out to be really clingy. Now whether it was your performance the night before or just that you might have picked a girl who isn't very good with no strings attached, we have some tips and tricks to help you get that girl out as soon as possible.
1. Morning plans
The go-to and probably most used excuse to chase a female out after sex is the same excuse girls use to give us the boot: they have to get up really early for whatever reason. There is absolutely no harm in adding this to your arsenal; however, it can backfire tremendously, “I have to get up early, too, it’s no big deal,” is a likely response you will hear from her which puts you right back at square one. Although No. 1 on this list, we say use this one carefully. It’s effective most of the time, but must be used with caution, you could end up signing up for a breakfast date.
2. Sleep patterns
Tell her you don’t sleep and you’re an insomniac. This is a really good, neutral excuse to get her to leave, because you’re not saying there’s anything wrong with her (the key to a second helping, if you want one), while also not totally scaring her off. Granted she might think something is wrong with you but it's a risk to take. The flip side of this step would be to say you sleep too late or too much and that if she wants to sleep over, then that’s fine but you won’t get up to say goodbye. On paper, the latter approach looks like it would be a lot less successful, but you'll never know unless you try it and find out for yourself.
3. Run to the bathroom
This is possibly one of the safest tactics to use, however don’t immediately use this ploy after sex, but after a 15-20 minute grace period, get up and make a dramatic run to the bathroom. It doesn’t matter which orifice you’re pretending to discharge out of, what is important is that she’s grossed out. If she thinks you're vomiting or otherwise, she will leave and that will be it. No words even have to be spoken.
4. Blame your roommates
This step is a lot more than the headline suggests. We are not saying you need to throw your friends under the bus, rather, tell her that the dudes you live with have an affinity for waking you up with 4 a.m. beer showers in bed or something else that will completely turn her off. Some other examples: they bang wildly on your door early in the morning; they will take photos of her when she walks out of your room; they like to urinate in the hallway and not the bathroom etc. You get the picture. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel or make anything up here, the actual truth might actually be enough.
5. Your lock is broken
A surprisingly effective tactic and, more often than not, the truth. This step sort of parlays with the crazy roommates — there’s probably a story behind why your door doesn’t lock — and it will get her thinking that the late walk home might actually be a better option than whatever other possibilities may happen when she doses off next to you before your roommates come back. No girl wants to have one of your mates walk in on you guys, it's just awkward.
6. Offer her a ride home
It may seem a bit desperate to offer her a ride home rather than have her just stay over, but if you’re willing to drive then this will force home the point you really don’t want her to sleepover. If she doesn't quite take the hint, remind her that this is the only time you can give her a ride, tell her you work on the other side of town and it would be too much of a detour.
7. Show her the bathroom
There isn't too much to talk about here, if you live with a group of guys the general hygiene level in the bathroom will almost certainly scare any girl off. Caution: this may indirectly ruin any second chances you’re hoping for.
8. Read the situation, get personal
This one will only work with girls who have a similar mindset to that of your own, if the girl is only there to “get seen to” then it's a good idea to start talking about feelings and a potential future etc. if she's had her urges taken care of she will be the one making excuses to leave.
9. Return to the party
The girl lying next to you is not your girlfriend so if you want the night to continue, then there’s nothing stopping you. If your roommates are back, then get out of bed and join them in the late night festivities. If there’s still a bar open or a party raging, then go find it. She may pass out in your bed, which isn’t what you want, but chances are if you leave the scene altogether, then she will follow suit. Not the greatest approach and almost certainly ruins the chances of round 2 but hey you got to do what you got to do.
10. Family emergency
This one can be one of the most effective but can also be difficult to turn to for obvious reasons, if you tell her you have a relative who is desperately ill and needs to see you right away there is no chance she can say no to having to leave. If you get a second bite at the cherry you have to remember which aunt was sick!
There we go guys 10 excuses to get that girl out of bed asap, go well gents!