The Art of Flirting
A lot of the guys are asking the same question over and over again. So, they see a nice chick in the club, and they muster the courage to approach her and start the conversation. But it all goes horribly wrong from there. Some of them get completely ignored, and others get stuck by getting friend zoned. And it's not even a friend zone, but more like a backup plan and of course, nobody wants to be somebody's second option, so they either start raging about that, and just proceed to get ignored, or they hope that by being a nice guy and sucking up to her, they will somehow crawl their way into the girl's panties. Or even worse, they think that if the same trick worked on one chick, it will work on every other. So, our friends just get stuck in this weird and uncomfortable conversation since they are trying to sell the same thing twice, but of course, the second girl's answers completely mess the guy's plan, because he tried to essentially copy/paste the entire process. And with that approach, the failure percentage is almost 100.
And they try this over and over again, and eventually, they get so fed up of their failures, that they actually start to doubt their own ability and, in extreme situations, start to obsess over it until the point of no return. It just gets worse as time goes by. They become easy targets for gold diggers and chicks who are just looking for a sponsor, and it is a bad cycle which just repeats itself endlessly. And then, they keep asking: What's the secret? And it is plain-simple and idiot-friendly stuff that nobody should even try to learn by force. Unless you just want to sink deeper and deeper, which is not a good place to be by any means. And that unsolvable enigma would be The art of flirting.
Contents
Fundamental principles
And this so-called The art of flirting just keeps becoming the bigger impossible-to-solve problem for our desperate squad. At this point, even though they are all either average or above average guys with good looks and nice manners, successful careers and all that stuff that men are after, it simply just doesn't cut it. Hell, the situation is so bad that even those 1's and 2's, which were not even considered as an option, are now becoming unconquerable. But, if you, our fellow reader/s recognize yourselves in this, then look no further. And also, if possible, try to unlearn any useless stuff that is supposed to teach you how to hook up with a girl, what to say, and how to make her interested in you. You don't need that thing anyway. Everything you need is right there, inside your head. For this part, we are talking about the upper one! So, let's just get straight to the point. What should you say when you approach the girl? Is there a magic spell which you just repeat a few times, and she starts jumping on you like crazy? Of course not, that is all crap. It is really simple, and it goes like this:
IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER WHAT YOU SAY TO THE GIRL!
Yes, you got it right. It doesn't even matter at all. Think about it for a second. The situation is the following: Your squad with you as a pack leader is slowly descending from the club's entrance doorway, down to the dance floor. You stop by to get some drinks, and you spot an empty table nearby. And to make things even better, there are 4 of you, and it just happens so, that the next table has 4 smoking-hot females just randomly there. Can't be a coincidence, right? Well, if you just think for a second here. What are 4 chicks doing there? Hugging that table? Why would they do that when they could just join your company and hug something of theirs? Clearly, there are 4 of the chairs, and all 4 of them are sitting there. Not a single male in a 20m radius. And then, there is the 4 of you. Holding those beers like your life depends on them, and staring at the female company like you never saw a chick in real life? Like the females are endangered species and seeing them could be very well the last time? See, that's what separates the men from the boys. While the 4 of you are drooling around thinking what to do and wasting that precious time, the real men are already balls-deep in action. And later on, they will be balls-deep in something else. Something else that you would've even forgotten the looks of if there wasn't for the TV and 18+ channels.
If you were thoughtful enough in the first place, you would've already read some other related articles on our website, and right now, you would be applying that and getting all the 9's and 10's out there. But since you weren't, we are once again going through this step-by-step, just for the ol' good times sake!
Idiot-friendly examples + some advanced physics
There’s one, and only one main difference between men and women in general. And this applies to everything, not just male-female relationships. To simplify it even more, we are going to use the dumbest example ever. When you actually figure out that even the dumbest example would've had more success than you and the squad, then you will know the difference and you will never need any guidance ever. Pick-up coaches? Phew, screw those "I am still in the high school" kind of outfits, while their hair is whiter than Santa's. Let's put it like this: Men think in a more straightforward manner. So, the male thought process algorithm is simple: problem => tools => solution => drink beer to celebrate the replacement of the light-bulb. Men always try to get from point A to point B in the most logical and efficient way, without considering any alternatives. This is why women seem like an puzzle to most men. While in reality, they just function on the opposite order: get drunk => make the problem out of nothing => have no idea what tools even look like => screw that, just call the guy to fix it. And somehow this non-sense messes your logic entirely? And the worst of all: the guy is that 5'5" dude who even can't see his tool because his belly is bigger than that of a pregnant woman. Yet he still uses that stomach to hit your chick in the head while she is, well, you know what.
So, since we used the simplest possible example to explain the theory behind it, which is really some advanced quantum stuff, we need more of a practical approach. Yeah, as practical as what is she practicing with the guy right now. Damn, if you just didn't skip the practical electrical education classes instead of smoking weed with your squad behind the school, you would be replacing the light-bulb right now, instead of replacing your hands when they get tired.
So, if we take any given conversation, be it one-on-one, group conversation, two-on-one, there are two different frequencies or currents going on:
First is the surface frequency or the obvious one. These are the literal words that are being spoken. This is where men put their focus and where things happen on a literal level. Unfortunately, when a woman is out having a good time, she automatically turns this channel off, and you should probably do the same. Why you might ask? Well, imagine that the music is so loud that it literally moves the air, and the smoke as well, if there are smoke-machines present. She probably had a few tequilas before she met with the other gals, and then she rocked a few cocktails here and there. Even if she is so considerate towards your kind that she just by some accident left the surface channel on, do you really think that she will be able to hear any of the crap that you are trying to sell her even before you got in her near vicinity? Of course, not. So we are not going to take that path.
The second is the sub-frequency of what is behind your words. This where the magic happens. This is what people tend to call your vibe or your energy, or why the hell not, your MOJO. But don't try to tell her to check your mojo. Cause she is probably going to call the security boys, and then, they will check the count of your ribs. And after they displace some of your vital organs, they will turn you to the police because you are trying to sell drugs of unknown origins. So, stick with the vibe or energy. It should be a loose, fun, free-flowing steam of the dumbest crappy jokes that you can ever think of. These are the kind of jokes that are so bad that you don't even want to write them down since in the next five seconds, you can come up with a fresh one that is just as bad, if not the worse.
You hear men speak all the time about how they don’t understand women, how women don’t seem to make any sense, how women just want the bad boy and you could provide a much better life if they just saw how amazing you are and all that stuff as a means of salvation for the poor ones. You can be out with a woman and maybe she was a smart straight-A student wearing sexy glasses even though she sees everything perfectly. Or maybe she’s got a great high paying job. Maybe she’s an author who spends her days reading and writing, (and a side note, these are the kind of girls who ESPECIALLY want to let go and have fun and they are really easy to spot: some of them are redheads with weird-shaped haircuts or the ones that are dressed more casual, like jeans and a t-shirt) but when they are out, they turn the logical side off completely and they become little girls who are there to dance and be wild, and rage and LAUGH. Write that down on each of your hand fingers.
Epic revelation - you never saw this one coming!
And this brings about the first and the last major point when it comes to women. They like a good and friendly atmosphere. And they love to laugh. It’s true, if a girl likes you, she will laugh at things you say even if they are not remotely funny or even make any sense at all. If a girl is not laughing at you, it doesn’t mean you are doomed for eternity. It just means that you’ve got a little bit of work to do. It's never-ending progress. Unless you're really that bad at coming up with funny content, maybe you should consider watching "Two and a half men." If Charlie Sheen was able to pick up 9's or 10's, or even two-three of those every single episode with that horrible outfit, then you are on a path to become a Brad Pitt. Or whoever is the Hollywood's most sought out male actor. Like the good and witty man that you will hopefully be if you read through this article carefully, it is your job to be the guide for the night. Leave the funny, or partially funny stuff aside and show your masculine side. You don't need to have 200+ pounds of ripped muscles to be masculine. You just need to take initiative. If you are going towards your home, then you are not supposed to care about accompanying somebody home. Unless it's her accompanying you to your place. Your goal is to make her follow you freely on her own will. Never try to force things. You are a leader, not a slavemaster. And that means that you lead, and you never turn back.
Don't take the "make her laugh" part so seriously
But definitely take this article seriously. And check our other articles about the male-female interactions. Also, if you have any remaining space on your fingers, make sure to take note: there is a major difference between being funny, light, loose and making a girl laugh and being the guy who is just the insane entertainment and attention-seeking chimpanzee at the same time, that nobody actually could take seriously even if his voice was deeper than the Darth Vader's.
Even though women are not good at picking logical stuff, they can easily spot somebody why just won't quit even after a few hours have passed since the last time he was interesting to anybody. It seems that the women actually have a fake-intentions-filter or something of that sort. Check this scenario: one guy is prodding and poking at girls, having his own fun and taking them along. But not taking it too seriously. She is laughing with you in this instance. And the other guy is being needy, going out of his way to try and be funny with the purpose of making her laugh, and not really having any fun himself. This is the circus monkey. And of course, the girls will throw a smirk here or there when they see him, but in a few hours from now, his friends and the chicks will be laughing, and he will be crying on his way to a supermarket in a new role of a goods-delivery monkey. Don't be this try-hard guy for more than 30 seconds. It's obvious and annoying. And in some countries where the guys have a bit of rough-around-the-edges attitude, you would probably end up in a zoo since you wanted that role so much.
Simple-yet-effective examples and bits of advice for total geeks
First of all, don't be a geek of any sort. Unless you're a professional at something, and you can actually tell an interesting story. But this is for very rare occasions. Like for those alternative redhead chicks. They like that kind of stuff. But other than that, don't talk about dragons, wizards, and other freaky stuff. If the girls wanted to listen to that stuff, they would probably be on their way to a museum for a midnight epic fantasy class.
Some examples of how you could be funny - if you have natural wit and she is any smarter than insert-a-random-Kardashian-sister-here, use that to your advantage Exploit the life out of it, to be more precise. You can throw some subtle sex-related jokes. It's even better if she doesn't figure it out immediately. Then you will have an excuse to take her somewhere and show her what you meant, but the practical way. If you are not naturally comedic, use funny voices, try to imitate some famous scratches or voice-line memes, make funny situations that push social norms a bit, do things that YOU think would be funny. Like when you're hanging with your dudes and drinking a double-digit number of beers in less than two hours.
One of the other entertaining things to do when you're with a girl/s is to just make up random stories about you, them and your friends, and tell them to strangers. Don't just copy this one, as it is for example purposes only: So, you take this girl and you want to introduce her to your friends. You bring her closer and say something like "I found her on the street, she looked kinda adorable so I kept her." And you can throw in some meows in her face if you are good at that kind of a thing. Heart melting will begin right there, and it will be followed by other things as well.
This also accomplishes two other things. It creates something like "the two of you against the others” situation - even though it is not for real, it puts you in a little private spot with the girl where it is only the two of you and you share something. This creates an attraction that will likely lead to intimacy. It also makes her a little embarrassed which will make her laugh and let go if she is being uptight. It doesn’t matter if it is funny to the random people you stopped to talk to, as long as you are having fun. Basically, anything that makes her say "shut up, bastard" will do the job. But again, make sure that you are not forcing it too much. You need to have fun yourself, and if that is truly the case, she will start to feel the impact of your energy around her. And when that starts to happen, it doesn't even matter what are you doing anymore, as long as you are having a good time yourself. You can play CS:GO and practice your cursing and swearing in Russian, and she will still find that funny. Your untamed energy is the best aphrodisiac that she can ever have. And it is free from charge and free from any unwanted reactions to the supplements.
Extras and real-time examples
As with pretty much anything in life, with practice comes skill, and with improvisation comes an idea. But mostly, just focus on self-amusement, if you are truly having fun and you’re involving her from time to time as well, you're doing it well. Even if you don't score or accomplish whatever was that you wanted to, you still had some fun and you just move on.
But one of the best methods when it comes to flirting, and by many of dating guru's considered the definition of flirting, is to poke fun at her in a fun-natured way. Pick on her, especially if she is hot. Try to find something that you can keep calling out that will make her a bit insecure. If she has some freckles or spots that make her not-perfect. This especially works well with those 9's and 10's who are aware of their good looks. This is the way to strike a bit of insecurity into her, and show that you are a confident guy who knows what he wants. But keep it coming in an unexpected way. Now, this doesn’t mean making fun of her or saying something especially mean or too provocative! Just a little poke from time to time to keep her on her toes. This way you appear like a catch to her, and she will need to work harder in order to prove herself if she wants to have some involvement with you. And that is the position that you want to be in.
This sentence is so good that it should be under the premium pay-to-unlock content. But since we want to help you guys, we will just leave it here: "Pretty girls love to be told they are smart, and smart girls like to be told that they are pretty." This one works like a charm, but use it in moderation. If the gossip spreads too much, you will be the target of a reverse-psychology revenge attack. Doesn't sound good at all. And definitely is not fun either. Stampede of angry chicks running at you because you used the exact same line and they all felt for it at the same time. If this happens, our warm suggestion is to stay off the Feminist gatherings. They even might have your wanted picture as their promo material.
Check out this one as well: You walk up to a 6-feet-tall model, someone who is probably already annoyed to death by the bunch of men telling them constantly how gorgeous they are and all that stuff that she is already aware of. Duh, she is a model. But you make the twist here and you say something like "Excuse me, you seem really familiar to me. Are you a lawyer or an attorney worker by any chance? I can almost recall seeing you carrying some paperwork around" Unless she is the dumbest daddy's princess who is already tired of her stupid and meaningless life, you can already sign-in bonus points in your score tab. And you already have a subject to keep the conversation going, as this will provoke her and make her open up and talk about herself. Keep in mind, if she is talking about herself, then your job is already coming to an ending. And if you do everything else accordingly, it will be a happy ending. Or multiple happy endings. This is the most obvious example of sub-communication being utilized to a full effect. But don't ever repeat yourself or use the same line on more than like two girls. Even if it's the best bulletproof pickup line in the universe. It will happen so that you will lose interest in so many attractive traits of different girls since you already have a well-rounded plan that never fails. Even though it sounds good, it will get annoying really quickly because you will feel that you are with the same girl every time since the female responses will always be similar in context. Again, practice variety and improvisation. Or as some say "fake it 'till you make it." Even if your fake game starts failing a bit and you get confused a bit, just play it cool. If nothing else, you will still appear different and more interesting since you were original, even though it wasn't so convincing in the end.
Even if you totally mess up and make yourself a bit foolish, you're still on the right track because you actually had the balls to approach that chick and hit her up, which will always build at least a small amount of attraction. And secondly, you at least had some fun yourself, and her reactions didn't affect your state of mind. This is like a B-version of something that is called push/pull which is flirting in-a-nutshell. You compliment her, draw her in a bit to pump her state and spark her interest, and then you take it away like a toy from the helpless little baby. It doesn't do much initially, but over the course of time, it will make them addicted to that micro-dosed fix of dopamine when you compliment her. But you have to do this in a specific manner. You tell her in such a way that lets her know that you noticed something about her. But you're not trying to sound too upfront and excited. Same push/pull idea. If you were to compliment her dress or something like that, do it in a way which kinda subtly tells her "that's nice and all but can you do it better." Like you just delivered a 100 pieces of that same dress to a random boutique.
Summary
So, that was a brief overview of that famous enigma that is flirting. Hopefully, now you have an idea of how to crack it and exploit weak points. So, be natural, don't be too pushy, and don't try too hard. Also, focus on your own amusement and fun. Like you don't even care that she is laughing at your jokes constantly. Act like you just scratched the surface of your all-so-amazing tear-inducing lines. You know, nothing special, I kinda have hundreds of those in my left pocket. Be casual and take it easy if the girl is not responding to you. This is what you do every day of your life because that's what you do the best. Confident attitude gets you there in no time. Also, bonus points for creativity if you take some already famous joke and add a small personal touch to it. Like a black-humor twist. Now, the girls are waiting out there for you to entertain them while they are all pretty and tightened. And you go and do it easily and effortlessly like a true boss that you are!
See Also
- North America | South America | Europe | Africa | Asia | Oceania