Nairobi hookup guide advises how to pick up girls and where to find beautiful women. The best nightclubs and top places for dating in Nairobi are listed in this single man’s travel guide. Read more how to date Kenyan girls and how to get laid in Nairobi, Kenya.
So Nairobi is your newest area of interest lately. For most people, whenever Nairobi, Kenya is mentioned, the first thing that comes to mind is wildlife; the giraffes and the big cats. Well, at least a giraffe will occasionally cross the road, let's hope you will be there to see that happen. I mean, why come for Safari if you have no intention of seeing an elephant or being chased by a hippo? Well, Nairobi is definitely a beautiful destination place for any tourist who is interested in wildlife. What about the Wild Life?
Let's be honest here, you are here for the girls, right?
- 1 How to Pick Up Girls
- 2 Top Dating Tips
- 3 Online Dating
- 4 What Kind of Guys Have the Best Chances
- 5 Risks while Gaming
- 6 How to Get Laid as Soon as Possible
- 7 Gold Diggers and Sugar Babies
- 8 Swinger Clubs and Naturism
- 9 Costs of Living
- 10 Accommodation
- 11 How to Get There and Move Around
- 12 Digital Nomads and Remote Work
- 13 Internet and Mobile Operators
- 14 Gambling and Casinos
- 15 Weed and Drugs
- 16 Health, Fitness, Gyms and Massage
- 17 STDs and HIV
- 18 Stay Safe
- 19 See Also
How to Pick Up Girls
Picking up girls in Nairobi is as easy as turning up at an Upmarket night club in Westlands or any other suburb within the city. Sounds simple? That's exactly how simple it is to pick up girls. Picking them up is not the challenge, choosing from the bevy of beauties will be the challenge. The thing is, Nairobi girls love foreigners, especially with White skin. Just sit alone at a table to show you are available, look around and see all the girls eyeing you in expectation. Choose the one you want and invite her to your table for drinks. It will be a long night, ensure you don't get dead drunk and not rise to the occasion.
Also, money attracts girls just like light attracts moths. Filling your table with Jack Daniels is a sure way of getting girls to your table, Even during the day, struggling to pick up a brand of fragrance, or pretending to, is a sure way of attracting a girl to give you unsolicited advice. Just hint that you have few coins to spare, and they will come in crowds.
Let us look at it this way, what are the chances of NOT getting laid? The chances of not getting laid are the chances of being hit by a meteorite. In every three women, you see in Nairobi, two are horny, one is broke. The thing is, it somehow seems like there are more women than men in Nairobi, this could be good news if a threesome or an orgy is in your bucket list. The city is also buzzing with universities full of horny yet broke students. Kenyans are indeed show-offs. Help your sugar baby brag about her Gucci handbags in class, and you will appreciate the blowjobs. Your chances of picking up a girl are almost 100%.
If you are wondering what the girls look like, well, there are virtually two extremes; The socialite looks that must have been inspired by Kim Kardashian and Nicki Minaj. These girls, have wasp-like waistlines, huge behinds, and sizable busts. they have weaves several inches long and acrylic nails that resemble tendons. It is very difficult to find a dark skin girl with a socialite look. There are murmurs of skin lightening or something. They have also adopted American or British accents. Anything but a Kenyan accent. If big and beautiful is your type, there you go.
Most Kenyan girls are born voluptuous, but there are however those who have undergone procedures to attain the socialite look.
Then there is the exotic look. With the natural hair campaign and Lupita Nyong'o being declared one of the most beautiful women in the world, an equally large number of Nairobi girls have decided to embrace their natural beauty. Their hair is kinky, dark with mostly slender physiques. Some have also kept waist-length dreadlocks. They have flawless skin that smell of Shea butter and body works. For some reason, most foreigners, at least the Caucasians, love this look. Ask them what they do, they will quickly mention modeling, or intentions of modeling.
The chances of picking a skinny girl are very high, We'll give it a 4/5. this is because Kenyan men are attracted to voluptuous curvy women, who have the Kim Kardashian physique. Walk to any streets and see the reaction a curvy girl will receive from the locals; there will be cat calling and whistles from men all over. A curvy Nairobi woman is considered very beautiful, this is why many girls are even opting to go for enhancement to attain that look. Most curvy girls are already taken. Kenyan men may not need so much acrobatics in bed, they love basic styles as long as they have bigger assets to touch. Honestly, weight can be a stumbling block to one who wants to try out so many styles, that's why it's rare for a Mzungu to fly all the way, and get the same sample. Most westerners are also dealing with weight issues.
The chances of getting a curvy girl, We say 1/5, because as brutal as it may sound, skinny is not really appealing in an African setup. Most foreign men come specifically for the skinny girls with the high fashion model look as they can deliver so well in bed. It is a very normal sight in most malls and clubs, a Mzungu man walking hand in hand with a skinny girl. Some come for vacations but eventually opt to settle in Kenya. The sex, they say is out of this world. It is not a stereotype, those who go black never go back. Actually, when a Nairobi girl deliberately decides to lose weight, most of the times, she is hoping to get a Caucasian, as skinny is not very marketable to Kenyan men.
Nairobi girls are not reserved, at all, at least those who prefer Mzungu know that their needs are best fulfilled by you. They are very outgoing and are the life of the party. They love Mzungu and take pride in having their friends know that they are dating internationally. Prepare for lots of photos and hashtags on Social media. they will be so proud of you. It's the same thing under the sack, they give their all between the sheets.
Nairobi girls are also very civilized. Yes, they know exactly what a blow job is, yes, they don't mind trying cowgirl. There are many stereotypes about Nairobi and Africa in general, but calm down your balls, Nairobi is a much-civilized city and the girls are at par with what is happening in the rest of the world. Don't be too worried as to whether taking them to Avengers will be a good idea; they have most likely watched it.
Point to note also, is that they are proud and show offs. You may need to brace yourself for some diva attitude.
Stereotype of girls: Nairobi girls are experts in sex, lets say they are sexperts. Many people came for vacation and eventually ended up setting up their retirement homes in Kenya, that is how serious it is. When they say when you go black you don't go back, it is serious. If you want to go back it will be impossible as they are addictive.
It is also important to note that the girls love money and a good life in return. They want you to spoil them for spoiling you in bed.Upgrade their wardrobes, take them to eat out and allow them to take the photos they so badly want to flaunt on social media, surprise them with vacations and pocket money, and your balls will always be empty.
Chance of mature ladies: Kenyan girls hardly look old. If you walk along the streets of Nairobi it will be difficult to tell huge age differences, among the girls , which actually exist, but the girls have groomed themselves so well, and keep fit they hardly look a year over thirty, even in their late forties and fifties. Several younger men are also dating older women in large numbers due to the same reason, it is almost impossible to tell a woman's exact age as they look younger than their real ages. The chances of meeting a younger woman or older woman are equally at 50/50.
Tips for Daytime
While girls seem to be more approachable in night clubs, picking them during the day is equally easy. Just don't go to the dingy areas of River Road. Nairobi is the safest city in the world, though its generally safe. Always ensure you hang around the high end areas as it's safer, and the girls high end.
It may look weird to approach a girl randomly and start talking to her, at least if you are a local. As a foreigner however, she will not suspect you of trying to mug her, she will definitely listen to you. Well not to say that you start stopping randoms on the street. The best places to find them are malls; Galleria, Junction, Westend, Two Rivers. Here you will find so many beauties shopping. You can ask them to tell you more about a certain brand of liquor or better still, ask her to join you for a drink.
There are very high chances of hooking up during the day if you have a plan and are strategic. Say 90% chances. Unlike clubs where the girls can also walk to your table, during the day you have to use your charms and communication skills. The best way to do this is to join her in her activities, for instance if she is in a mall looking at shoes, you can also invite her to advise you on which brand of shoes to buy for yourself. You can sample wines, or try out different colognes to break the ice and create a rapport. Just try to blend into her activities. Nairobi girls are very social. Malls are packed with university students hoping to get a sugar daddy, you will be spoilt for choice.
Best spots to meet girls: It is very possible to pick up girls during the day. The best places to find your girls are malls and coffee joints. Most are college students who prefer hanging out with their friends at Java or Art Cafe. KFC is also a very popular joint for those who love fast foods. The joints are strategically placed near The University of Nairobi and other town campuses. Even those who school outside Nairobi, like Juja usually meet up in town. While most locals will be skeptic about approaching a random girl in the mall to ask for her number, your chances are very high as a foreigner, that they won't be a skeptic. It's actually not odd for a Mzungu to approach a girl in broad daylight. Go for it, she will actually be flattered.
The Maasai market is the biggest open-air market where you can get the Maasai cultural outfits and accessories. Every expatriate who comes to Kenya and is in love with Kenyan culture goes to the Maasai market to buy some cultural pieces. Even local girls are aware that you want to drink in your Kenyan experience and they will be willing to help you not just with the pieces, but also between the sheets. It's very much in order to walk straight to the girls and ask them to join you for a drink, of course after shopping. It's very easy to tell apart the girls who are open to your advances; they walk alone, to make it easier for you to approach them. we know this because of Kenyan girls like moving around in groups especially when they shop. Shopping is such a big deal they will drag along the entire sisterhood to help them make good fashion choices. The lone girl with a small handbag is definitely hoping you will approach her, go for it.
There are also many events attended by expatriates like blankets and wine which involve so many activities including performances by local and international musicians, fashion shows, drinking, and later hook ups, depending on how well you mingled. The crowd that attends these events is a very youthful and vibrant crowd that not only wants to have fun; they want to meet people while at it. Most concerts are attended by couples, if she came alone, she definitely needs company. It’s almost very rare to find a woman attending such events alone, not even with her girlfriends. If she actually went alone, she is very strategic in indicating that she is single and ready to mingle. Just wink at her and she will get the hint.
Tips for Nighttime
If you find it easier to pick girls at night, I mean let's be honest, a girl having fun is most likely open to more fun.
Stick the upmarket clubs. If you decide to turn up in garbage clubs in downtown, you will most likely pick garbage girls who will spike your drinks and make away with your wallet. Hire an Uber or a Taxi. Better still, ask the hotel to assign you a cab for your escapades, or should we say sexerpades? Having a driver you can easily track and hold accountable is easy to ensure you get back in one piece. The drivers also know their way around the city, and can advice you on the best clubs to go. They can also keep an eye on you, if you need it. If you are looking to get a one night stand, get a condom, and to be able to use a condom you should not be dead drunk, control your drink.
While its good to walk around with stashes of money, We prefer you walk around with your credit card, it makes it difficult for you to get robbed,that is if you stubbornly decide to go to garbage clubs even after this warning.
This may sound archaic to millennials because they believe in double tapping and swiping left and right and voila, your date is on the way, just at the speed of a dial. well picking up girls at night is older than a dinosaur, or Methuselah, but it is timeless. believe it or not online dating is not as easy as it seems. You may never get the chance to show the girl your sense of humor just because she didn't like your nose on your Tinder Profile. Imagine being profiled just because of your looks, sigh.
A face to face interaction has a higher chance of helping you get laid that very night. Well, while you may not get the attention you crave on Tinder for pesky reasons, ordering Jack Daniels one after another at Sankara will definitely get you some attention, from a number of sugar babies. Do not call them to your table immediately, play smooth and they will notice that your wallet is probably in good condition.You can then wink at her, indicating your interest in having her join your table. After you have successfully made her join your table, have fun. If you are boring she will soon murmur about a curfew at home or something. Please do not discuss global warming or the project you should submit before Friday. Discuss the latest musicians, ask her for a dance. Play truth or dare, you get the drift? If you are the life of the party, the nonexistent curfew will be the last thing on her mind.
DISCLAIMER; Do not be upfront that you are looking for casual sex. Nairobi girls are very intelligent, they know EXACTLY what you are looking for. You will lose points by being upfront about it. The truth is, this is Africa, culture is still ingrained in most of the girls' minds. They may not want to appear cheap. Act like sex is the last thing on your mind and have fun. Let her believe it was her idea, it is good for her ego.Reverse psychology works all the time, that's why good boys don't get laid.
Well, you have had fun and its way past midnight, she would mention something about not wanting to go home because it is late, there you are, you are heading with your date to your apartment. If you can not go to your apartment due to girlfriend-ish issues, you may rent a lodging. Good ones go for as little as $100 dollars per night with bed and breakfast. It will be worth it. Remember, control your drink, don't get drunk. Stay in control. Good luck smooth operator.
If you are wondering if its possible to follow this advice to the letter and still not get hooked, We say no, picking a girl is guaranteed if you actually turn up in a club and keep your drinks coming. Money can attract Nairobi sugar babies to unimaginably levels. We will give you 100% chances of getting laid.
Best nightclubs to meet girls:
Mercury Lounge is located at Waiyaki Way. It’s very common to spot foreigners in this club due to its location, drinks, ambience and music. This is exactly where you should be if you are a good conversationalist and would like to at least create a rapport with your girl before hitting the sheets. The music is not too loud, it’s mellow.
Now the girls who go to Mercury lounge are mostly working or in business, you may have to bring some good vibes to the table, as they have already paid their bills. Grape vine has it that the girls here can be dominant, if you don’t mind a woman taking charge, strapping you and all, then you have it, head to Mercury Lounge; they know what they want and they go for it.
- Havana Bar and Restaurante: It is located at Westlands Wooddale Groove beside Sarit Center. The investors must have sunk millions to make it one of the best clubs in Kenya. It’s not only up market; the clients are mostly expatriates, the elites and business owners. The management has the right for admission, hence the girls who are allowed, are high quality girls, looking to meet foreigners and have a good time. You can now approach the beautiful girl at the counter without being judged, everyone is here for a good time.
- There is variety of food too, both local and international brands of liquor. They also have an assortment of menus including la carte, gastro bars and tapas. You will indeed have a good time.
- B Club is also known as the billionaires club. The club mostly overprices its drinks and food, its over-hyped and all. Well they have very good music and the bourgeoisie clientele. It’s not uncommon to meet ambassadors’ daughters and all. Do not pick a girl from B club to your apartment. If you want a good time, there is a legitimate VIP lounge, where you can have a good time, but please, don’t take any home. There have been a few cases of empty balls and empty wallets. Just get your balls empty and go home alone, with your wallet intact. You may also need to carry your drink around, even to the washroom to take a leak, yes, there have been nasty incidences. The crowd at B Club is closely knit; you are safer if you go with someone who frequents the place. Some girls are good, but some are conniving.
- Sankara Hotel is a beautiful place with live band. There is an assortment of different cuisines you cannot miss what you want. While the prices are quite high, the crowd is good; the girls are beautiful and classy. In fact, the population seems to be foreign men and local girls. Local men rarely go to Sankara as the odds are not on their sides. The girls have gone to Sankara to specifically mingle with foreigners.
- There is a beautiful live band that plays mostly over the week end, you can ask the beauty to give you a dance, did I mention that Kenyan girls can really dance? You can pick from there.
- Hypnotica Club at Woodvale Groove. The music is loud, very loud actually if you don’t mind. It’s also quite dark, so be keen when chatting the girls, the girl in stilettos and a dress few inches below the waist could as well be the bartender. The bartenders are handpicked models, and they dress to the occasion. I’d say the crowd can be a bit rowdy but if you are the face of the party head to hypnotica. The girls are also as wild as the place. You may not even make it to your apartment, you will get laid in the car, ensure you head to hypnotica with a condom if you will get drunk. There have also been cases of people getting laid in the parking. The crowd is mixed, from locals to West Africans, to expatriates. What will save you is your A game, dance moves or just being a mzungu. Remember what I said above? You are already at the head of the pack if you are mzungu.
- Gypsy Bar in westlands is also a place to be. It was founded in 1994, for the love of being a gypsy. The crowd here is quite mature so if you are looking for a sugar baby, any young girl in the vicinity may be there for that. The music is also mellow.
Those are just some of the few clubs you can visit in Nairobi if you want to meet a girl.
Ask any foreigner, when the sun sets, Nairobi comes to life. During the day your girls are either in class attending lectures, or at work finishing up their reports, so you have to wait until dusk. You will be surprised, not to compare it with New York but Nairobi does not sleep. Most girls would head to the clubs to turn up and to mingle in the evenings, that’s your sure bet. But as a foreigner, your security is paramount. Remember the point we made above about Mzungu, the locals are aware that you carried with you a huge load of cash, and that is exactly why it's advisable you to stick to Westlands; unless you are a humanitarian worker looking for families to sponsor. Westlands area is not only a high end area; security is very tight; you can even take a stroll at night with nobody to bother you. Due to the nature of the residents at Westlands, even the clubs are high end, ultimately, the girls who club at Westlands are exactly the girls you need. Club owners have the right to admission, hence you can bet that every single girl in the club is worth your salt.
Top Dating Tips
The golden rule is to always start by complimenting a Kenyan girl. They are proud and show offs, and this works like magic. Do not tell her how her big butt may look insane during doggy. Do not be creepy, complement her eyes, or hair or something general. Taking them for dates is even easier, if she is a party animal you can hit the best clubs in town and dance till you drop. If you want to have some worthwhile conversations take them to a coffee joint, there is something about Kenyans and coffee, it really needs to be researched on. Movies are also a big thing in Kenya,there are so many cinemas in Nairobi where you can watch the latest movies together. I wouldn't want to tell you what to talk to her about, as they are outgoing. Just be yourself, its better than to look like you are trying too hard.
There is no language barrier, at all. Most African countries have the local dialects and it's possible that they don't speak English. The good news is, English is the native language in Kenya, believe it or not. Being a British colony they speak British English from kindergarten to adulthood. In fact, even socially, Nairobi girls prefer English, it's not only a sign of class, Nairobi is the melting point of different cultures, and there are 42 tribes. English is standard. You may meet a few girls with a few intonations of their local accents, but generally, the English they speak is impeccable. Don't even worry about how you would need to translate your pick up lines when you finally meet your shawty. A language barrier can only exist if you are not a native English speaker, if that's the case then there could be a slight barrier, but this shouldn't be a problem if you can speak Basic English. Germans there is a surprise for you; a good number of Nairobi girls at least understand basic German, thanks to Goethe Institute.
Have you learned a few greetings? Honestly, if you haven't learned Jambo or Hakuna Matata, are you even prepared to get laid? Everyone knows that Jambo is the first word you say to get any Kenyan beauty smiling. When you are done reading this blog you can get a copy of Lion King, you need to pronounce Hakuna Matata right.
With the rising need for Kenyan girls to meet foreigners Tinder is booming! While Tinder is the easiest way to get a girl, especially a sex worker, there are so many profiles that are fake. A huge number of users are not using their real pictures, not because they are frauds, but because there is a stereotype that those on dating apps are desperate. Tinder is the leading dating site, and its easy to get a girl in a few hours and have sex the same day. Sex workers have also gone digital. For sex workers you don't even need to go for dates, all they need is the cheque, not a connection. Going or not going for dates, will largely depend on your urgency for getting laid. If you want it in hours a sex worker is the way to go. If you want a regular girl and some sort of correspondence you may have to go for dates. Before that I recommend video calls,I mean we have to be sure its actually a woman. We recommend Afrointroductions if you want a long term girl, its also a popular site.
What Kind of Guys Have the Best Chances
In Nairobi, it seems like every Caucasian, whether European or American, is referred to as white. Locally, Caucasians are referred to as "Mzungu." Mzungus are believed to be loaded; at least their wallets should be heavier than most locals, as going on vacations abroad is not something most Kenyans do. By the time someone leaves their countries and head to a different continent altogether to have fun, they must be loaded. Mzungu is generally higher in the hierarchy than the locals; we both know that familiarity breeds contempt. The locals are used to interacting with their fellow Kenyans, so Mzungu is always a special guest, and that is, you are put at a pedestal. If you think I'm lying wait until you land at the airport, and see the treatment you will receive. You will be treated with lots of respect. Look around even at the hotels. Your order will definitely be taken before the locals. Be careful with the local man looking at you with narrowed eyes at the corner of the bar, he is just angry that the local girls picked you over him. So before you even start following the tips I'm about to give you, you are already at the head of the game. Nairobi girls love foreigners, and rightfully so because you are not only gentlemen, you are sexpats, something that local men refuse to embrace. Most would rather have missionary and call it a day. Doggy? Have the men heard of that? Don't let the brotherhood down, expectations are already high, maintain the standards.Now that we have established that you are at a pedestal, your chances of getting laid are already high as a Mzungu, even before I start giving you the tips. Being an expat in Kenya is good, well now that you are a sexpat, and you need to get laid, I can't wait to share the tips.
Risks while Gaming
Picking up girls at a club after having fun together doesn't sound risky, but we cannot be too sure. There are potential risks while gaming, It is important to always stay alert. Well, in the unlikely circumstances that things do not go well, here are the most likely scenarios;
Condoms. It really doesn't make sense to pick a girl after a night of having fun, just to go raw. You do not know her, you do not have her medical records, you probably don't love her, yet, you have no idea who else had picked her earlier, at least love yourself and take precautions. Use a condom. Whatever you do, be responsible for your own health. There is no need of having a vacation and returning with some virus. Not saying this is very common, in fact, it's not as bad as the media puts it, but luck may not be on your side that day. If you decide to pick working girls on the street, in the CBD, chances are actually 37% that she has HIV. For a start, you may want to stay in the high-end areas of Westlands, as the girls there have some sort of bargaining power and can hardly go without a condom. In the CBD, the girls can choose not to use a condom if you pay $2 more, 2!! What are the chances that she is okay? 37%!
Cat fights. Another risk you may encounter are the cat-fights. This is very common in scenarios where girls are way more than the men and they are fighting for your attention, literally. Cat-fights are more common where foreigners are involved as they are hot cake. You should be able to tell when a cat fight is about to ensue. For instance; when multiple girls are aggressively trying to get your attention and you are taking your sweet time making a choice the desperation may kick in making them resort to fist fights. You really need to be intentional, not cocky. Be intentional and make it clear when you are not interested. While putting off girls in their faces is not a good idea, as it will hurt their ego, it is better than letting things escalate to a fight. Alternatively, stick to classy Westlands bars where girls are classy, and there are also bouncers meant to keep things in order. Such high-end bars will not delay in kicking out drama queens out of the premises, they also value their clients and would not want to let a bunch of rowdy girls make them uncomfortable.
Police Harassment. Commercial sex work may be as old as Methuselah in Kenya, but that doesn't mean it's legal. It happens on a daily basis, girls in skimpy clothes, line up in the street lights at night but occasionally, there is the police crackdown, of the girls, not you. You surely do not want to be caught in the middle of a crossfire. The crackdowns are very random but not common. On this you just have to cross your fingers that your girl won't talk to her heels in the middle of a bargain, that is if you decide to pick her up on the streets.
Drunkenness is also a huge concern if you are gaming. If you choose a one night stand, please do not get too drunk You need to be in control, especially of your wallet. Why would she not take the $3000 in your wallet if you are dead drunk? You tempted her. If you are a raging alcoholic you may need to get her to your hotel room and let the management know. She will not be signed out until you approve, which you can only do when sober. In your apartment, dead drunk, unless there is some security you may wake up without your wallet and Rolex watch. Drunkenness is not just a concern when you are taking her home or to your hotel room, even at the club, if you get drunk you may wake up with a huge hangover and no cash on you, not even cab fare. You do not need the embarrassment of being the first Mzungu to be unable to pay his bills.
Getting Drugged is a high possibility if you decide to go to the dingy clubs in downtown that we warned you against which have rogue working girls. While drugging may have also crept into high-end clubs like B club, you are always safer in high-end clubs as management values the reputation of its premises. Most likely someone will notice that you are unconscious, or just acting funny and will check on you. Spiking of drinks is becoming very prevalent in Nairobi generally. You may need to be cautious by tipping the bouncers to keep an eye on you, or just do not leave your drink unattended even for a second. If you have to visit the washroom then you either carry it with you to the washroom or open a new drink altogether when you return. There have also been a few cases of drinks getting spiked from the counter itself. You may at some point have to drink from the bottle.
Underage girls. It is still a huge mystery about how underage girls access clubs that are meant for over 18-year-olds. It may sound creepy to ask a girl for her ID on the first meeting, but if you have suspicions, you are better off safe than sorry. You may not want your photos all over the internet as a defiler. It is illegal to sleep with an underage girl, just try and ensure she is 18.
Fake Online Profiles. For those who may resort to picking up "girls" they met on the internet, or dating sites, there is a narrow possibility that, well, they may not exactly be girls, to sound politically correct. Very few actually come clean "if" they are not girls, and will be shocked when you finally want to start a business. Sometimes you need to be blunt and ask these questions when you are still chatting. Video calls may help.
How to Get Laid as Soon as Possible
How to get laid as soon as possible. Nairobi has more than 4 million inhabitants, no kidding, and out of these, there are more women than men. If you are wondering if you can get laid in minutes or hours, does that answer your question? If you are a man searching, you are going to have the time of your life, especially in the evenings and weekends, when it literally becomes your playground. As the sun sets, it's literally the time to let your hair down, if you have any. While singles are everywhere and you could easily pick one at the snap of a finger, you should ask yourself the kind of girl you are looking for. Inasmuch as you may want to get laid soonest, picking anyone in a skirt is doing a disservice to yourself, especially considering that there is always someone better. There should at least be a look or personality you are looking for, even for a one night stand, especially if you will spend some dollars. Anyway, the selection is left for you. Let us look at the quickest way to get laid.
- 1. You should be in the right place at the right time. Are you seriously hoping the girl in pajamas at the grocery store is interested in having a fun night with a guy she just met? You have got to be kidding me. There are so many girls looking for guys to have fun with, but they are most likely not at the grocery store, or at a fast food joint. In Nairobi, fun is simply drinks, music, and dancing. Yes, that sounds like a night club. They are most likely at the nightclubs sipping drinks alone at the counter, smoking some joint at a corner or the smoking zone, gyrating at the dance floor, you get the drift? Specifically, be at the place where the girls are already having fun, they will be open to more fun, at your place.
- 2. Loosen up. Sitting alone at the corner table with a seriously repelling face is definitely not going to get you laid as soon as possible. Your biggest aim is to have fun, even before getting laid. A serious demeanor is definitely going to repel the girls. Walk into the club with a big smile plastered across your face, and say hi to anyone who crosses your path. Most people gravitate towards positive energy. It will be easy to start a conversation with girls if you said hi to them in the first place. Talk to anyone, just drop the attitude. You are halfway there.
- 3. Tap your inner comedian. Nobody cares about your boss or annoying co-worker. The weather is as old as Methuselah, and its cliche. everyone has one or two funny stories they use to make people laugh. Unleash one of them. The girls have come to have a good time, and so far the drinks and music are playing a good role. Add value to their lives by making them laugh. You don't have to be a stand-up comedian, even your funny dance moves, or lack of dance moves is funny. Make them laugh. You are almost getting laid.
- 4. Strike a conversation. A conversation is different from a lecture, in that it also gives the other person a chance to talk. Speak and let your girls speak too. It strikes a connection. The connection is what will lead you finally speak up your intentions. Even girls looking for one night stands want to feel valued. When they realize you are funny, attentive and all, they will probably go home with you that night.
- 5. Do not get too drunk. You know your limits. Stay on the safe side. If you want to get laid as soon as possible getting drunk is a no-no, as you will not be able to make wise decisions and probably, you will wake up without your wallet. It is good to take precautions. One or two drinks is enough, as the ladies will see that you are fun, and not too uptight.
- 6. Staring is rude. If you have spotted a girl you are attracted to. you have two options; to stare at her as though she has a plastic nose, and eventually freak her out, or give eye contact, smile and approach her, of which if she is alone she will most likely be happy to join you.
- 7. Speak out. You have had fun, shared drinks, danced together, uuuummm she won't magically end up on your bed. Speak up your intentions. I doubt she will slap you if you played your cards right.
- 8. Girl on the street is a freak in the sheets. If you are too impatient to spend few hours flirting and playing your cards right, you may have to drive directly to Koinange streets where it is business. The girls are working and don't care about your sense of humor. You can bargain but use a condom.
Gold Diggers and Sugar Babies
The Sugar Baby scene in Nairobi is still quite new but there are a lot of beautiful young girls looking for a Sugar Daddy. The best and safest way to hook up with a Sugar Baby is online. At SecretBenefits.com there is a wide selection of nice girls who are looking for an older guy to take care of them. These babes are easy to approach and you can settle everything before meeting up.
Anyone can be a sugar daddy. Just create your free account at SecretBenefits and start enjoying the wide selection of Sugar Babies available.
This is also another group that is becoming popular; the sugar babies. These are mostly college girls who need to get their hair done, and to wear designer outfits. In a nutshell, they provide sizzling sex, while you foot the bills. Clear? Its give and take so put your cheque in order and prepare for the time of your life. Don't panic yet, they are not as expensive as it sounds. What bills does a college student need to pay? Just basics like a human weave, shoes, handbags, a vacation to the Mara, they are actually very low maintenance. The advantage is that sugar babies will submit to you fully. It’s like a business transaction as they know the cheque is bigger depending on how happy you get, and yes, you will be happy. Getting sugar babies is also not difficult. There are many universities located within Nairobi with many beautiful girls just hoping to get a sugar daddy to spoil them. We will tell you exactly which joints to frequent to get your warm sugar baby. Unlike finding a girlfriend or wife where you could just go out randomly to the next street and you return home with two numbers of a twenty and twenty-five-year-old woman added to your cellphone, in a sugar daddy/ baby relationship a lady is supposed to be the one doing the chase when she is actively seeking a sugar daddy. Talk of the hunter being the hunted. They look at it this way, they need funds hence they have to "work." Here are the spots you can easily find a sugar baby if you do not want to go through the hustle of chatting girls online.
Tamasha Club in Hurlingham To find a sugar baby in this place, you need to visit the place on Sundays during Jazz nights. Most wealthy people love Jazz and the girls know it. Of course, the girls hate Jazz, they specifically go there for the wealthy Jazz lovers to sponsor their lifestyle.
Kiza Club The club is famous for hosting local and visiting international artists and wealthy business people who come to enjoy themselves. It has an expansive V.I.P area and an exclusive cigar bar is a good place to find rich businessmen networking and chatting. Sugar babies will strategically walk around hoping to get the attention of a sugar daddy.
5. B Club– Lounge
B club is known as The Billionaires Club. As its name suggests, its frequented by the rich and famous. Sugar babies can be spotted in revealing outfits trying to outdo each other in attracting the attention of a sugar daddy. Its VIP area is also full of super-rich men who can change a sugar baby's life ina second.
In Nairobi, sugar relationships seem to have become both more common and more visible: What once used to be hidden is now out in the open – from the campuses, in bars, and all over Instagram, we see students with no source of income apart from their parents' pocket money enjoying vacations in Paris and driving fuel guzzlers. Somehow, we have arrived at a point where having a “sponsor” or a “blesser” – the terms that millennials usually apply to their sugar daddies – has for many young people become an accepted, and in fact a glamorous lifestyle choice. More than 20% of young women in Nairobi has or has had a “sponsor.” The percentage is way higher, some prefer not to admit it. This has also been inspired by Kenya’s celebrity “socialites” – these are women who have transformed their sex appeal into wealth, becoming stars of social media. The women seem to have been inspired by Reality Tv star Kim Kardashian who seems to be famous for her sex tape, and curves. It is so serious that popular socialites are having surgeries to get wasp-like waistlines and bigger hips and boobs. Skin lightening also seems to be a trend.
Among them are the stars of the reality TV show Nairobi Diaries, which is more of a ratchet show, really. It is supposed to be Kenya’s own blend of Keeping up with the Kardashians and The Real Housewives of Atlanta, but it is bady done, with girls with fake accents and definitely fake body parts. All in all, sugar relationships are so rampant if you want to find out, visit the universities over the weekend and see how many big cars are parked outside the hostels.
Swinger Clubs and Naturism
Swinger Parties are naturism do happen in Nairobi, but there are no specific clubs you will walk into and swing your partner, or a restaurant where you will leave your clothes at the cloakroom. Partner swapping is more common that you can imagine, but you have to have your ears on the ground. If this is your fancy then there are things you will need to understand;
Secretive. Africans are generally known to be reserved and frown at practices which they may consider foreign. Swapping wives and girlfriends may be considered cheating, hence do not expect billboards all over advertising the next cheating spree. Ironically Africans are polygamists, but they still find orgies and partner swapping immoral. It is like they would rather do something but pretend not to be doing it. If you intend to attend a sex orgy, just know that it will be the biggest secret, you will not casually mention it to your waitress at the coffee shop.
Considered a Taboo. Swinging and naturism are, of course, considered a taboo. Not illegal, but a taboo. It may be difficult to arrest or charge someone for having a nudist party or sex orgy. You cannot charge someone for having consensual sex with a fellow adult. It is definitely not illegal, but quite foreign, hence a taboo. Very few girls would want their parents to know that they slept with five strangers in a day, or that their boyfriends swapped them for someone else. This is not to say that your date will not agree to it, they could, but it will be the biggest secret after the coca cola formula.
they happen among groups of Closely knit friends. As naturism and swinging are still frowned upon by the general public, it usually happens between closely knit friends who agree on non-disclosure. A set of friends with the same ideal can come together and plan one where they all agree that it is just for fun and there are no strings attached.
These parties are not walk-ins, they are planned beforehand and registration is done where you may agree to non-disclosure, and probably pay some membership fee.
If you will be attending, for instance, the swingers parties with your date, ensure its consensual. Walking into a party where anybody can have sex with you or your date is risky if you did not inform her beforehand. be on the same page about this matter as we said before, this is still spoken about in low tones in Kenya.
The big question is where to attend these parties. There is no specific location. Search online, they are announced regularly, with a contact number where you canopy some registration fees. They usually take place in residential areas in up market places like Westlands, Kitusuru or Lavington
Costs of Living
Getting accommodation in Nairobi is very hectic, especially if you do not know your way around. You may be searching the internet for leads, but are just getting more confused by the disparity in prices. Some are super expensive while others are very cheap, which makes it more confusing. To clarify this, there is accommodation in Nairobi, in fact, most hotels are under booked, while others are overbooked, but you can never miss a place to stay on your vacation. Accommodation in Nairobi totally depends on your budget, needs and expectations. The hospitality industry is flourishing because Kenya is a leading tourist destination in the world. There are basically four types of hotels in the country. The Kings and Queens, are the five-star hotels where the who is who dine. This is where visiting presidents would prefer to stay on their visits. The five stars of Nairobi include; Serena Hotel, Sankara Hotel, Panari Hotel, The Boma and many more in various parts of town. If you can afford it, then go for it. They can go for even $380 per night. We also have three-star hotels. They are actually booked by foreigners and tourists. Their services are actually very good, you will expect them to be five stars due to their impeccable services. It's just that they are more affordable than the five stars. They are so many from Panari to Henessis which are extremely good. Their room services are also according to client needs, from single to double. They can go for $20 per night. Then we have what you would call two stars or well, cheap accommodation. They do offer good services. but not over the top like three and five stars. They may not have conference rooms, swimming pools or gym, or they could just search. Their rooms are very affordable with hot water, bed, and breakfast. There are so many hotels that offer cheap accommodation both in the CBD and the outskirts. Those who prefer apartments, there are so many that offer short term accommodation. They are good and come with service charges like garbage collection, laundry, security and parking fees, gym, WiFi and swimming pool. Most of these are covered in the rent cost. $80 per night can get you one. Airbnb has cheaper options too. Have a look. The final category is exactly the category we do not recommend. Single rooms in bars. They are noisy and are mostly used as lodgings and brothels. they go for as low as $5 per night. They are dirty and lack privacy. If you are gaming, you can invite a girl over to your room without necessarily having to go pick her up. It works so well, especially with internet dating. For most internet dates, it is normal for the first date to be in your hotel room. The receptionists are very helpful as long as you tell them you are expecting a date. You may, however, have to sign them out for security purposes, to ensure that you aren't drunk or drugged. Also, it helps solve issues with payment, if it's a paid worker.
How to Get There and Move Around
I apologize in advance as I intend to mention Westlands a lot, for obvious reasons. You need to understand the dynamics of this city. Well, we can’t pretend that it’s the safest city in the world, but security also depends on the areas you decide to hang around. Westlands is where the party is, and the female population is very high. With every one foreigner, there are three beautiful local girls, okay that is personal statistic. But the girls are strategically located there, so chances are very high that the girl you smile at will be happy to smile back. it’s also an up market part of the city, hence foreigners are very comfortable living there. We suggest you hire an Uber to take you around, as Nairobi can be very tricky to any newbie. Ubers are not only affordable, the drivers are professionals in customer relations. You can also track your expenditure.I hope you will be hanging around the less congested parts of the city, remember Westlands? We also recommend Lavington, Kitusuru, Loresho, Valley Arcade among others. An uber ride goes for as low as $1, that's 100 kenyan shillings.
Digital Nomads and Remote Work
Working as a digital nomad is great especially if you love traveling. Kenya is definitely one of the countries you should consider when you are a nomad. The things nomads consider include; quality of internet connectivity, cost of living, weather, and the unique attractions and diverse city culture available. Internet connectivity is amazing. The iHub is definitely the nerve center in Nairobi with broadband internet, coworking spaces, networking, and a few digital nomads also. There are so many other spaces in high-end areas like Westlands, Ngong Road, Hurlingham which offer office spaces that go for as low as $100 per month. All you need to rent is desk space. This is very affordable especially if you will meet clients during your stay, or if you just need a temporary address that will make you legit. You will enjoy security, parking spaces, and fast internet. Most of them are also a vibrant community of other digital nomads. Cost of living is also very affordable depending on your budget. You can stay at an affordable hotel or get an apartment at Airbnb. The beauty with being a digital nomad in Nairobi is that you can actually work from home if everything is totally online and you do not necessarily need an address. Most telecommunication companies offer affordable internet services like Safaricom, at $10 per month you may have more than enough data. We also have Airtel, Orange, and Zuku. The weather is also amazing. Kenya is generally warm or cool, no snow that can prevent you from meeting friends or going for a swim. The people are also very friendly and cool. Nairobi has the most favorable weather to any digital nomad. You can be assured you won't spend days tucked in a blanket because its snowing outside, neither will you get sunburns. The culture is also amazing with different dishes you can try. Too much work with no play makes Jack a dull boy. Every digital nomad needs a break from the laptop to debrief. There are so many tourist attractions that you can go see, especially if you are a travel blogger, from the Wilde Beast migration at The Maasai Mara, the wild animals at the national parks, different cultural events during the weekends, fashion shows and live bands. You can never be bored.
Internet and Mobile Operators
Safaricom is the leading telecommunications company in Kenya with the strongest network and widest coverage. It is also very popular for Mobile banking, MPesa which allows one to send money, receive money, save and many other banking transactions. You can also pay your bills via MPesa. Safaricom is also known for its internet services. You can purchase Platinum bundles at $10 per month and enjoy unlimited internet access, messaging and several minutes of calls. To be able to utilize Safaricom you need to purchase a SIM Card which is only $0.5. The second largest service providers are Airtel. Its as good as Safaricom but its usage could be half. It also has reliable internet services and mobile money. It is not just used in Kenya but also in several other countries in Africa. In Nairobi, most people prefer Safaricom because it's cheaper to transfer and receive money from the same provider than across networks, and Safaricom seems to be the most used. The third provider is Telecom Kenya, which deals with the landline. In fact, its the only landline service provider in the country as at now. Services provided by this company include VoIP, international calling, roaming, postpaid and more. While there are other service providers, those are the three leading companies in the marketplace.
Gambling and Casinos
Nairobi is a city of gamblers with a total of18 gambling facilities, 128 tables games, 908 gaming, slot, and video poker machines. While tourism may be one of the leading sources of revenue for the government, we cannot ignore the fact that gambling makes hundreds of millions every single day. While mobile betting takes the lead, with Sports Pesa being the most popular, there are casinos all over the city where fortune lovers also gather every night to try their luck. Sports betting is a huge phenomenon with Millenials earning up to $300 monthly if they are good at making predictions. Located in the suitably upmarket Parklands Road, Westlands, Nairobi, the Mayfair Casino features six card tables, six roulette tables, and sixty slot and video machines. Amongst the games on offer are American roulette, Black Jack, Pontoon, Caribbean Poker, Brag, Seven Card Poker, and Bingo. Its made up of mostly rustic wood and represent Kenyan culture. We also have the Finix Casino the Finix Casino that offers punters five single roulette tables, ten Black Jack tables, Pontoon, Caribbean Baccarat, Texas Hold Em Poker, slot machines featuring progressive jackpots, and an electronic roulette table. Those are just a few casinos but basically, gambling is very legal in Kenya, hence foreigners can be comfortable enough with the experience. Most foreigners prefer to use the casinos at the casino hotels as they are more convenient if they are staying there. Best land-based casinos to visit in Kenya are Safari Park Hotel & Casino, Captains Club Casino, and Golden Key Casino to name a few.
Weed and Drugs
Drugs and Weed are illegal in Kenya, the end. However, they are in huge circulation and are quite accessible. All one has to do is to be cautious and have their ears to the ground. Marijuana, for instance, has not yet been legalized in Kenya inasmuch as there have been bills trying to push. It's locally known as Weed, Pot or even holy leaves and is used even by high school students. It is sold from the slums where they lace it with petrol to make its effects last longer. They are also sold in upmarket clubs where they are laced with cocaine. It is not strange to spot people smoking it in the corner of a high-end hotel. There has been so much creativity in circulating marijuana, that there are various cookies laced with marijuana that is sold at $0.4 per piece. Weed users are rarely arrested, but the suppliers and vendors are usually imprisoned for five years if found in possession. If you intend to take the risk, ensure you use it immediately, at a club. Carrying bundles to your home will make you a supplier and that is illegal. Do not have any in your home, take this seriously. Like any other countries in the world, drugs are illegal. While marijuana can earn a supplier up to five years imprisonment, hard drugs like cocaine and heroin can earn one life imprisonment. This means they are harder to access. There are secret deals in high-end hotels with VIP sections where trade happens. It is almost impossible to find a supplier online. Even hotel staff may not trust anyone who asks for information on ho\w to access cocaine or heroine as undercover policemen are also trying to crack down drug suppliers. Students also claim that accessing drugs could be as easy as knowing a "cool" pharmacist who won't need a prescription. some speed drugs like Valium can be found over the counter.
Health, Fitness, Gyms and Massage
Happy Ending Massages: Ever heard of happy ending massages? There are various high end massage parlors that would give you a sordid experience. They are regular massages, at least at the beginning, and end with your nether regions being pleasured. If you think this is the nature of massage you need then I’ll give you a few addresses. We say confidentiality is very high; there are actually clients who are not aware that there are those kinds of extras in the very parlor they visit.
The masseuses are able to tell if you need an extra, if you are worried about coming upfront. There is no reason to be worried in the first place, as confidentiality is almost always guaranteed. You can however hint the masseuse; for instance, when you completely get rid of your towel the masseuse can read the signals. Most conservative clienteles would rather cover up. They will also engage you in banter which involves sexual innuendos, you can choose to enjoy the banter and even mention exactly what you like as of course, depending on your response, they will understand. The masseuse may take a few risks, like the hand accidentally slipping to, you know where; your reaction will determine the next move.
We say this is a worthwhile experience as it is an adventure in its own. The masseuse sends signals and you respond. It’s like a game, which will end in orgasms.
Most people who head to massage parlors have guilty pleasures. While some genuinely want their joints massaged after a workout, some need some extra, and luckily for them happy ending massages are becoming more popular in Nairobi, it’s just that there is so much confidentiality around it, that's why I have done this home work for you. Most massage parlors in Ngong road actually offer happy endings. You can also try Pink Apples in Lavington. There are also others who offer freelance happy ending massages at the comfort of your home. Ensure you do a thorough profile check before engaging them so that you get value for your money.
Also note that if you will get your happy ending massage in a parlor, you will pay more than the regular massages ranging from $30 for a hand job and $100 for full penetration. Happy ending extras are never on the main menu, they are private, it’s an arrangement you privately make with the masseuses, of course the management is aware and you will get your privacy from expert hands.
STDs and HIV
Kenya’s HIV epidemic not only affects most of its general population but also groups of men who have sex with men, women, sex workers and people who inject drugs are still more vulnerable to infection. Female sex workers carry the burden of HIV infections in Nairobi with approximately 37%. With every three workers you pick on the streets, chances are one could be infected. This risk is mostly on the lower ends of Nairobi like downtown streets where clients charge $5 or less per session. Some workers are very desperate and opt to go without condoms at the request of a client who is willing to pay more. This leads to a very disturbing question; Why would a client pay more just so that they do not use protection, gasp, with a stranger? We cannot deny the fact that very few will deliberately put themselves at such risks unless they themselves are spreading the virus. There have been so many empowerment programs meant to help sex workers insist on using a condom no matter how much a client has offered. This has led to some success stories, but there is also violence in the cards, from rogue clients. A 2015 study led by GNP found Kenyan sex workers face a heightened risk of violence with little or no protection from law enforcement officers. For example, victims of rape may have accessed post-rape medical care, none would dare report to the police for the fear of being prosecuted as sex work is illegal. The sex workers living with HIV also have their treatment interrupted every time there is a police crackdown and they are arrested. Most of these sex workers also experience violence as they hardly have bodies to protect them, as sex work is illegal. Rape is more common than reported, and it increases vulnerability to HIV. This particularly affects young Kenyan women who are three times more likely to be exposed to sexual violence than young Kenyan men especially after a drunken spree or just to evade paying for the services. One leading reason as to why prevalence is high among sex workers s poverty. A girl who hasn't made any money for the night, and meets a client willing to pay her, but sleep with her without a condom, is most likely going to oblige. This is because of desperation. If you decide to pick your girls from downtown, or on the streets, ensure that a condom is part of your plan. Another cause is inconsistent condom use. Some girls may use condoms today, then tomorrow they won't. This still puts everyone at risk. It is important that you take care of your own health when dealing with girls who can compromise to the highest bidder. Some girls are illiterate too and are not aware of how serious this HIV/AIDS STI is. It may sound like a bad rumor until one actually encounters it. We cannot ignore that some girls are on the streets because they never got an education hence cannot get good jobs, hence this whole HIV thing sounds like some fiction. Let's call it ignorance. While the prevalence is highest among sex workers, female sex workers are reportedly better at protecting themselves from HIV transmission compared their other counterparts such as men who have sex with men. If you are gay, it is good to know that prevalence is also very high among men who have sex with men in Kenya. they are about a third of the general HIV population. Homosexuality is illegal in Kenya and can carry a prison sentence of up to 14 years. This coupled with stigma and possible violence, it is very difficult for gay couples to purchase condoms. Traditionally, condoms are also known to be a heterosexual thing, even adverts use a heterosexual couple. It doesn't look "normal" for two men to be purchasing condoms. This has made it very difficult for them to take precautions. Drug users are also known to be at a high risk of infection considering they inject using one syringe multiple times, or they share the syringes amongst themselves without necessarily being aware of their peer's status. There have been campaigns to encourage drug addicts not only to go for rehabilitation but to also use condoms. The challenge is drugs impair one's judgment, and they may not think of using condoms especially when they are high. To be safe, using condoms REALLY lowers your risk of getting HIV whether with a HIV negative or positive partner. If you’re going to have sex, especially a one night stand whose status you do not know, stick to using condoms every single time is the best way to protect yourself from HIV and any other STIs. The other STIs though serious, are treatable, HIV is not, as at now.
Don’t inject drugs, no matter what, but, if you do, ensure the syringe is sterile, and personally, yours, do not share.
Drinking alcohol to the point of drunkenness affects your brain, making it hard to think clearly. When you’re drunk, chances are very high that you may make some mistakes, such as having sex without a condom. This mistake could cost you your health.
You also may be more likely to have a harder time using a condom correctly every time you have sex, have more sexual partners or use other drugs. Such risky behavior definitely increases your chances of getting HIV. As long as you are in Nairobi try and stay safe.
Nairobi has a reputation for thievery. Beware of snatch and grab, con artists, or groups of people following you. Scams are elaborate and can involve up to 10 or more people working together. The best advice for a tourist is to stay in the city centre, know where you are at all times, and pretend you know where you're going (even if you don't). If you find yourself in an unfamiliar area your best bet is to find a taxi (although you will probably pay dearly if the driver suspects a panicked westerner!) Don't carry large quantities of money or passports on the street, and assume that anyone trying to engage you is up to no good or trying to sell you something. If one stays smart and plays safe, without going around much after dark, Nairobi can be a safe place to stay. Most locals are honest people who will happily help you if you approach them. The areas where you have to take special care are: Globe roundabout, Archives, Ambassadeur, Muthurwa Market, around Nation Centre, Landies road, Nyamakima, Kirinyaga road, Uhuru.
Kenyans are proud people and there is not a lot of begging like you find in some other countries. Some opportunistic people will hang around shopping centres and beg, but they will generally accept a simple 'sorry' and leave you alone if you do not give.
we know you have reservations about coming to Nairobi. Let's be honest, there are a lot of stereotypes surrounding Nairobi which we need to address; Nairobi is safe. Yes, there have been a few terrorist attacks in a few high-end hotels and malls. Those attacks are very rare and the incidences are so widely apart, nothing to really be worried about. Compared to other parts of the world, Nairobi is indeed a very safe city. Of course, I am not asking you to walk in some dingy streets in the middle of the night or to go too low-end, the dingy bars in the city and leave your drink unattended. It's just common sense to be careful at night, in any part of the world. Nairobi is not an exception. There are however places We will advise you to frequent, where security is top notch and the girls high end. Follow this advice keenly as we know exactly where to get high-quality girls looking for a good time.