My Girlfriend Wants to Read My Phone Messages

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So your girlfriend wants to read your phone messages, when this topic comes up there can be some conflicting feelings from your side. Often, well most of the time when this happens it's because she doesn't trust you and thinks you are hiding something. The best way to avoid this is to give her no reason to distrust you but if you cannot avoid this then there are a few ways to deal with it.

If you want to keep the peace and also your girl, then follow a few of these tips for when she wants to read your phone

  • Keep the DM’s clear - if you are getting messages from random girls or if you're maybe engaging in some chat with other girls you need to delete those messages straight away before you let her read the phone. It won't even matter if the conversation is friendly and purely platonic, if she sees you're talking to other girls then you're gonna be in the dog box. If you want to message girls who are friends you need to tell her that.
  • Don't save numbers - if you have other girls texting you then you cannot save their numbers, if she finds a bunch of numbers on your phone with the names of multiple women in your phone you are as good as caught. If you do have to save the number maybe use a different name, one of your friends or family members should do the trick.
  • Don't speak to other girls via text - if your girl is going to read your messages then you cannot communicate with them via text. Use platforms like Instagram or Facebook and just clear the messages. Make sure that you keep your tracks clear if you are going to be doing things that many women will consider wrong.

The other side of this of course is that you are a good guy and you have nothing to fear from your girlfriend going through your phone. If you are an honest guy and are not speaking to a bunch of other girls on multiple social media platforms then you can be at ease about your girl doing a browse through your phone. This is of course if you're comfortable with it, at the end of the day it is still your choice because we all have the right to our own privacy and if your relationship is ready for you guys to share passwords etc. with each other, then go for it.

If you aren't at all comfortable with your girl going through your phone then you will have to ensure that you don't give her a reason to be suspicious. Being open and honest usually puts you in a good stead to keep her and her mind at ease.

What if your girl does read your messages and finds something she doesn't like?

If your girlfriend goes through your phone and does find messages or pictures etc. that she doesn't like and that doesn't paint you in a good light as the boyfriend that you're supposed to be, then there are a few things you'll have to say and do in order to save the relationship:

  • Come clean - if you have been speaking to other girls and she finds the messages then the best thing to do at that time is to be completely honest with her and tell her everything, if she feels at any point that you are lying to her she is going to leave you out in the cold.
  • Promise to never repeat offend - you have to assure her that you will never do it again, you have to tell her that she is the only one for you and that this slip up will categorically never happen again and the key to this is that she has to believe you, if she doesn't believe it then it becomes empty words.
  • Apologize - it might sound like a given but in cases where you get caught out doing something you weren't supposed to be doing you can often get caught up in defending yourself and not actually apologizing and acknowledging the wrong doing on your part, and often that is what makes the women angrier. So don't underestimate the power of a good and sincere “I'm sorry”.

Having your girl go through your phone and messages can be a very tricky situation and you will almost always feel like she is trying to catch you out and if you are going to say no to her then she is definitely going to be suspicious and she is going to be upset. You need to make sure that your relationship is solid enough that nobody questions the other in the relationship. If you can make your girl trust you then you have first prize, and the only way to ensure that she trusts you is to be a genuine stand up guy who only sticks to one girl and doesn't go around looking for something outside of what he has.

If you are gonna be a guy who wants to keep his options open then it might be best not to put a label on the relationship, if you say that you guys are not exclusive then there are no illusions and she cannot get upset if you do end up talking to other girls or entertaining other girls speaking to you. If you want your freedom and don't want to be tied down then you need to communicate that to your partner and make it clear to them. That way nobody gets hurt and at the end of the day that's what it's about.

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