How to Pick Up Girls in the Nightclub
In this guide, we will go in depth about how to hook up with girls in nightclubs and how to get the best out of your crazy nights out. We will talk about a couple of proven techniques and give a lot of tips in order to make your life as easy as possible. However, keep in mind that people are different in many ways, and what may work with a big group may turn out to backfire when approaching another person. It is safe to say that this is the most effective way of doing these things, but it is not 100% guaranteed to succeed and it is not bulletproof either.
This is just a brief overlook of the things that you should take into consideration. We will also have a couple of do's and don't do's in order to help you get a good grasp on how those things work.
Keep in mind that despite the fact how they are portrayed on the TV and in movies, clubs are not the places where people can always find a perfect date without doing anything. Also, you don't need any spooky tactics in order to be successful. If you are kind, gentle, being yourself and having fun ( you can actually pretend to have fun if you are boring, but you find that the girls are attractive, just fake it until you make it).
So, without the further due, let's get right into it!
- 1 Homework
- 2 Meet me at the club!
- 3 Are you ready?
- 4 Show her what you got!
- 5 To sum things up
- 6 See Also
Before we get into the theory of attraction and approach, we have to discuss a couple of things that are obviously necessary for your success.
And, of course, the number one is your looks. And, no, you don't want to show up with a messed-up hair and wearing basketball shorts, unless you are Brad Pitt or somebody like that, because those are not the things that you wear on your night out, especially if you are looking to hook up with female company.
You always want to look good, confident and stressed-out, and you want to enjoy yourself the whole time. Nothing is worse than a boring guy standing there and looking like he is desperate for a girl to approach him. Put up some nice clothes that make you feel comfortable, and don't dress too much because the temperature in the clubs is usually way higher than your room temperature, due to a large number of people in there. You want to have a layer or two of clothes on yourself so that you can take something off in case it gets hot in there, and trust us, it will get hot if you are doing everything correctly.
So, if you want a classy look, a dark single-colored shirt is always a good thing to have. Just make sure that it has long sleeves, as you are not going bowling. If you want the bad-boy looks with this, make sure not to fold the collar perfectly. Instead, leave one side up. Also, you can unbutton the sleeves or fold them up if you feel like it. If you are going to the place which has a very fancy dress code, you might want to throw a tie as well. Find a nice slim tie, single-colored, and make it look like a contrast to the basic color of your shirt. Blue, red, purple or anything like that will be good. You can also put one of those sweaters or under-jacket sleeveless tops over the shirt. This is especially good if you are having a little bit of overweight or a hanging belly since it will tighten you up and make your chest look good and in shape.
If it is a summertime or a more casual party, you can put on a long-sleeve shirt, or a t-shirt. Make sure that it is not overdone with prints and details. You are a grown man, not a teenager, hopefully. We will leave the pants to your own choice. Nice jeans are always a good combination with almost anything if you don't like the tuxedo pants. On your feet, you want nice boots or casual sneakers whose color matches the rest of your outfit. And please, no training or running sneakers for this occasion.
Remember, less is more. Keep it simple, minimal, classy and not too colorful, no matter what are you wearing, as you want the girls to be looking at your face, not your dumb childish clothes.
Now that you figured out your outfit, it is time to move on to the next, but equally important thing.
This is probably something that should not be mentioned at all, but it is a very important step, and we will talk about it as well.
As you most likely figured out by now, the key to being successful with women is to leave the best first impression that you possibly can. Everything is within the first minutes of your encounter, as she will most likely determine during those couple of minutes if she wants to move forward with you, or friend-zone you and keep you as an option. And you don't want this. Instead, what you want to make sure is that you shower before you go out. Wash your hair as well. If you have a short haircut, you can style it a bit using the hair gel. Spray some nice cologne around your neck, but not too much. The scent is the most powerful human sense when it comes to male-female attraction. You don't want to overwhelm her with your perfume. Instead, you want her to smell a little bit of it, but not too much. If she likes it, she will definitely stand closer to you to feel that awesome-smelling thing on your neck!
Also, shaving or trimming your beard is very important, so, make sure to do that as well.
Picking the right club
Now, this is something that you should really think of. Try and pick a place that is very likely to have a lot of single women hanging in there. Try to avoid local pubs and neighborhood bars. As fun as they might be, they are most likely not the place where you will find single women. If you are unfamiliar with the area, try to search online for reviews of local places. Also, try to avoid overcrowded dance-clubs where the music is too loud to have a conversation. You can also ask your friends to suggest you with a list of places where you can find single girls to hook up with.
And another important thing to keep in mind as well: you actually want to bring some of your friends with you. You definitely don't want to be the guy that we mentioned above. Yes, that one who is standing by himself and craving attention. Get your mates to come with you, have fun, talk with each other, dance and enjoy the night. It is much easier this way since the single girls are going in groups most of the time as well.
Now that the music is playing, everything is nice and smooth and it is time to take things to the next level. Try to avoid getting too drunk in the meantime, as this is not attractive and you will regret it the next morning.
Meet me at the club!
Picking the right girls
The goal here is to determine which girls are already busy, in a relationship or engaged, or those who are already on a date with another guy. This will most likely be the hardest part, as it requires some experience in the field. Try not to overthink it, and be spontaneous.
If a certain girl is dressed in a very flashy way, this often means that she has high expectations for the night and a high expectation for you. She is expecting to get a lot of attention, a lot of guys flirting with her, but only the best one will get her attention.
You can start by chatting with the girls while waiting in the line to get your drinks. If you are already doing that, look for nice and quiet spots where you can actually have a conversation. Say hello to the girl who is sitting at the bar by herself, or the girl who is at the edge of the dancefloor. If you are with your friends, and the mood is right, you can introduce her to the company. Most women like this, because they like the attention. If she accepts to come over and say hi to your company, offer her a drink. And also ask her if she is by herself or she has some friends with her. If that is the case, feel free to ask her and her company to join your guys at the table. Buy them a drink, and let the games begin! This is actually the best case scenario, a group of single girls sitting next to the group of you and your friends. Also, remember that they don't owe you anything. Buying her or them a drink is a way of getting them to notice your presence. This is not an excuse for over-imposing and aggressive behavior.
Starting the talk
Relax, be confident, and start by smiling and gently introducing yourself. It is so simple and effective. You actually don't need any fancy pickup lines. Chances are, she has already heard it and doesn't find it so funny as you may be. Encourage her to introduce herself. Ask her why is she in that club, what kind of music she likes etc. You want to be yourself here, and just improvise. You are not essentially asking her to sleep with you. You are just breaking the ice instead. So, keep the conversation light and casual. You can mention something about the club, or music, or your drink, or whatever else comes to your mind. Add a little bit of a humor as well, since that is the best way to break the ice. The don't do's here are talking about your ex's, serious things like relationships, or anything along those lines. Flirting is supposed to be easy and fun, and not something that should be taken seriously.
One of the best ways to encourage her to talk more about herself is to give compliments. Say something about her hair, dress, or something like that. But don't throw a barrage of "too" nice words to her. A genuine compliment here or there is more than enough. If she compliments you back, don't ignore it. Just kindly say something like "Oh, really? Thank you!" Also, don't get yourself too much high up if she compliments you. Stay laid-back and cool, and keep it casual.
Now, to close this one out, this is by far the most important thing. Always, and we mean it, ALWAYS maintain the eye contact. However, you don't have to stare at her like crazy. Just keep the open body position facing towards her with your chest, put that little bad-boy smirk on your face and project as much confidence as you can in a subtle body language way. You don't want to be that insecure guy who is just staring down at the floor. Keep her actively engaged in the conversation. Act in such a way that you seem to be interested in what she is saying to you, but not too interested like she is the only person in the entire club. If she is talking more than you are, that is already a good sign! Also, don't be shy to talk with her friends a bit as well.
If you find yourself talking with her periodically for a brief period of time, let's say something like 30 minutes or so, the chances are really high that this girl is interested in you. If that is the case, you might actually want to ask her if she is single at this point. If she says no or makes some uncomfortable face, try to quickly switch to another topic. Or you can say something like "Just kidding", and gently poke her shoulder. If she is single and is still talking to you after you asked the question, that is a big sign. However, try not to overreact if she says that she is single. You don't want to put your self too much upfront with her, or to seem too needy or pushy. Your response should be something like "Okay, cool, so am I." You want to subtly show your intentions with her, without saying it out loud. Try to notice her response and her reactions towards some of the things that you say. If she is maintaining eye contact and laughing at your jokes, and she seems to be relaxed, it is time to actually do something with her. Ask her for a dance, or if there is a pool, or darts or something like that, ask her to play with you. She might want to do that, or she might want to sit down a chat more over the next drinks. Both of these should be fine.
Are you ready?
Breaking the physical touch barrier
If you gauged her reactions to you properly, by now you should have a clue if this girl is really interested in you, or she is just bored and wants some attention. If she has not broken the touch barrier yet, try to put your hand around her waist or touch her face, or play with her hair, whatever you feel like doing at that moment. This is a really important moment, and you should try to see every reaction that she gives to you. But don't hold on too much to her. A brief touch here and there, just to clearly show your intentions.
As mentioned, it is really important to look for any reaction that you can get from her. If she seems to be into it, you can pull her a little bit closer to you, and maybe even bring your face closer to her's, but keep your head on the side. You don't want to just stare into her all the time!
Now that you were able to touch her a couple of times, what you want to do next is up to you. If you want just a casual hook-up, you can invite her to get to a more private place with you, or maybe go to another bar or even your place. But be very careful about when to ask her to join you at your place. Some girls might find that rude as if you were degrading their value. Again, remember to take it slowly, step by step. Don't be afraid of the rejection or take it personally. Just say "Okay" and move the conversation in another way.
You can also try and offer your number to her. Or ask her to give you her number. Best way to do this is actually to give her your phone and tell her to write her number. After you finish with the number exchange, it is time to proactively engage into doing something physical.
If you are standing and facing towards each other, you can put your hands around her waist and ask her to dance with you. Have fun, and take it easy, one step at a time. You want to tease her a little bit before you actually try to kiss her or something like that. If you are holding her waist, you can try and get your hands a little bit lower towards her backside. But don't be rude trying to grab her ass instantly. Enjoy the moment and keep the eye contact if she is dancing with you. If she maintains the eye-contact with you, give her "the looks". A nice thing to do is also periodically moving her hair from her face like you want to kiss her. And of course, you want to, but not immediately. Be unpredictable and keep her waiting for more. If she leans her head forward, then go for it. If not, wait a little bit more, and go for it regardless. If she responds back by kissing you as well, you are one step closer to getting a hook up that you wanted. If not, well, it is an awkward situation, and try to fake your way out of it. You can say something like "I got carried away a bit too much" or something along those lines. You can even close your eyes while you are kissing her, but keep your focus on her reactions. Try to notice any small changes. It could be her breathing getting a bit faster and louder. Anything like that is a sign of a positive reaction.
Show her what you got!
This is for after you had some intimate physical things going on between the two of you. You might have kissed a little bit, maybe a couple of touches to some more private spots, it is never the same. If you have not already asked her to change a location, now is the time for that! Don't be too pushy, and don't ask her in a way that tells her that you want to have sex with her. She already knows that. Instead, ask something like getting some other stuff to drink, or maybe moving to your place to catch a movie, listen to other music, watch a live concert or something like that, depending on her interests. Make it so that it looks like you just want to have some fun and talk to her in private since the music is too loud in the club or there are too many people. Improvise, there can be a million of reasons why she should come with you instead of staying in the club. You can also ask her if she is hungry, and the two of you can grab a bite to eat on your way to the selected location. The more creative you are, the better it will be for both of you!
Now that the two of you are at your place, it is time to get down on the couch, put some nice music, make a nice and cozy atmosphere, maybe light some candles, and let the games begin! You don't have to get into sex immediately. Instead, make sure that the two of you are comfortable with each other, and take some time to explore each other's bodies. You can start dressed up with a couple of intimate touches. Tease her a little bit, give her control, then take the control yourself. Talk some naughty stuff in the meantime, get horny, get into it. Take it to the bedroom when you can't hold on anymore, or do it in the living room, who cares! It is as good as you two make it good!
And remember to always use protection. Ask her if she is on a birth control as well. You want to have fun and laugh as you are talking about it while you are having a coffee together the next morning. And not regret it and call it a mistake.
To sum things up
We want to thank you for your time and interest if you came so far and you are reading this right now. We hope that you learned some new things that you didn't know about before. And even if you didn't learn anything new, it is never a bad thing to have a little reminder on some of these topics. We wish you good luck in all your future actions related to hooking up with girls. And make sure to come back, as we will be back soon with more content for you!