How to Be Confident
"All I want from my partner is to be a confident man." We've all heard this exact sentence coming from a girl/woman at least a million times. While some of you guys out there can figure out what are they trying to say with this, there are some of those who get lost without any trace. But we can all agree that confidence is one of the most attracting traits that women look for in the men.
But what exactly is confidence? How do you tell if somebody is confident, or if somebody is more confident than others? Probably nobody knows exact answers to those questions. But we can safely say that the definition of confidence is a subjective matter. And we can also agree that confidence, or more accurately, self-confidence means believing in your own ability to do, make or accomplish various things in life.
It can also come as a form of courage, or inner belief in strong self. There is no list long enough that covers all the traits of a confident man, and there is no measuring unit in which we can tell how much confidence does a person possess. But there are certainly some universal ways in which we can express our confidence and actually get in touch with our inner self-assurance.
Another sure thing with confidence is that its level varies over time. Can you remember those days when you just don't feel like you're in the mood? We can argue here that it is exactly our confidence level falling when we aren't feeling well on the inside without any external reason.
Another interesting and sure fact is that confidence is gained with experience. So, when you sum it up, does that mean that the older guy will be more confident that the young one? Uhm, not exactly. Confidence comes in infinite shapes and forms and can come from almost any action that we take. You can feel confident about your physical appearance. Or you can be confident about your mental ability.
But keep in mind that being able to predict the consequences and outcomes of our actions with high accuracy is also a form of confidence. And we can say that our confidence grows as we are able to predict the outcomes with higher accuracy.
So, what are the remaining ways to boost our confidence level and be that confident man that every girl wants in her life?
Physical Looks and Appearing Confident
Some say you can fake it till you make it. Well, can you exactly fake confidence? If you ask a poker player, he will tell you that you can fake anything. But are you truly confident if you are faking it?
Well, let's start over from the basics here. How do women tell if a guy is confident? The first thing that they see is his appearance. So, if you in your eyes look like a confident man, over the course of time, you will actually start feeling confident on the inside as well. Or you can use reverse psychology as well. If you're wearing your most comfortable clothes, it doesn't matter what they look like as long as you feel good wearing it. You can actually start building that appearance-based confidence right now and keep it up every day. Make sure to shower and wash yourself every day. Get that haircut done as soon as it starts to get messy. Groom your beard if you are wearing one. Nothing screams more confidence than a man who is in his element, especially when it comes to physical appearance. You know that feeling when you see nice jeans and think about how they would fit perfect on you? And that rewarding feeling when you actually buy them and put them on yourself. Why do you think that girls like to go shopping? It's not that they are lacking clothes. It is so that they feel better about themselves, even if it is a small thing like getting a new piece to wear.
The next big thing that will make people see the confidence in you is your posture. How you move, and how you carry and present yourself to the world with your posture is probably the most important physical trait when comes to people perceiving you as a confident one. Shoulders up, get that chest out, straighten the spine and lift that chin high and proud. Don't drag your legs like somebody beaten you. When you walk, walk with purpose, and walk evenly, keeping the same rhythm with every step. When you sit down, keep the posture up as well. Don't be like that kid who's falling asleep in the middle of the classroom. Those are all very subtle differences, but when combined, they actually make a world of difference. Because, the truth is, when you look confident on the outside, the world will perceive you like that. You're the boss, and you're in charge.
Another thing is maintaining eye contact. There has not been a single article about approaching girls on our site that doesn't involve keeping the eye contact. When you talk to someone, and you look them straight in the eyes, you project your thoughts directly on to them. It also shows that you are a person who's worthy of talking to, and it is subtly showing your respect to the one that you're talking to. Do you know that moment when somebody is talking to you about something, but they nervously keep evading eye contact because it makes them uncomfortable? Ask yourself if you can really believe 100% of that person's words.
Last, but not the least, for sure, is the body language. Imagine that you are sitting in the bar by yourself. You order a drink, and in the meantime, you curl and stare at your phone. Do you think that anybody will come and say hello? Most likely not. If you want to be approached by others, you have to make yourself approachable and available. A confident guy is not afraid or ashamed of meeting new people. So, remember to keep the open body posture as well. No crossing arms as well. If you keep in mind all these little details and try to implement them subconsciously, you will project much more confidence on to people. And same goes in reverse. The more confident you are, the better will your posture be by default! Stand in front of that mirror. Tell yourself that you're the real man. Because you are!
How to Think More Confidently
First of all, in order to have a confident mindset, you need to know about yourself, your talents, abilities and your human qualities. Obviously, this is much easier said than done. Some people take years, and even decades before they explore a part of them that they never know existed. Recognize what you excel at. Remember all the compliments from other people. Sometimes you just need a look from another angle to explore new things about yourself. To keep yourself motivated, don't forget to sometimes just take the time and recall and reflect back upon some of your past achievements. What is that thing that you did or made that made you proud? Try to remember the exact feeling you had at that moment. Try to imagine it on that little monitor in your head. Try to smell it. You are meant to be at the top of your game. Even if you are not at the moment, remain focused on your goals. Work on yourself every day bit by bit. Write down your qualities. Write down the qualities that you are trying to cherish as much as possible and keep, such as the sense of honor, loyalty, respect and friendship in any relationship. Keep the list up to date. You might not remember everything instantly but reflect back on your past if you feel the need. Grieve if there is something that you lost a long time ago. But keep in mind that nothing lasts forever. Learn to let go. That way you learn that you can live without it. If you desire to get it back, don't fall asleep before you have plan A, plan B, plan C, and plan D to get it back. Keep in touch with your inner self and listen to the inside.
You should also take some time to view the obstacles and things that keep your confidence down. See what is actually determining your self-worth for real, and what is just a mere illusion. Many of the problems are only there in your head. If you don't see a path now, don't sit down and wait for the path to show up. Instead, make your own path. Nobody can affect your life as much as you can affect it. Remember that failure is nothing to be ashamed of. Shame is when you don't try your best to make it work. Whatever you feel like doing, do it now because you don't have a moment to lose. Make mistakes if you need to. It is better to try and not succeed than to live in the past asking yourself "What if?".
Keep in mind that everybody has ups and downs. Everybody has their own struggles from time to time which can affect their confidence on many levels. There are some folks who are actually just that good at hiding it. But if we include the reverse methods here, if you can hide that you are not confident at the moment, the fact is, nobody will see it and everybody will perceive you as a confident person. Remember, it comes from the inside. And when you focus on the inside, you don't have the time to look outside and compare yourself to others. Like, 99% of people are busy with their own confidence, and they most likely have no time to analyze you. You don't have to be on your toes all the time. Nobody is perfect by any means. The worst thing you can do to your confidence is to compare yourself to others. Don't compete with others. Compete with yourself! And always focus on the process. Being there is easy, but getting there is hard. Stay focused on the end-game. And remember, in the end, nobody will care about you. The only one who cares about you is YOU. Confidence at its best is when you don't need to rely on anybody else but yourself.
Confidence <=> Happiness <=> Success
Remember how the all-time greatest Nikola Tesla said that the universe relies on 3 inseparable things which form a triangle with equally important values: energy, frequency, and vibration. Well, if you're to take these rules and apply them to the things that are more relatable to your emotions and to human nature overall, you get pretty much the same results. But, why those three?
It's quite easy when you take a moment to think about it. From confidence comes success, and from success comes happiness. We can also reverse it and say that from success comes confidence, and that from confidence comes happiness. But we can also say that success is a level of happiness. So, it would be that success comes from happiness, and from success comes confidence. Those three are indeed the holy trinity of your existence as a human being with purpose. You can't separate them, and in whichever order you put them, they will always finish each other, and you need all three to be complete.
Characteristics and Traits of a Confident Man
So, let's finally see what are those traits of a confident man, and let's try to get a better understanding of what do women mean when they say "confident man." Keep in mind that this is just a fraction of those traits with no particular order of importance, as we can literally never count them all.
So, as we mentioned above, you shouldn't be afraid of making mistakes. A confident man in woman's eyes will always know if he is right or wrong. And when he is wrong, he will not hesitate to apologize. Either to her or to anybody else. A confident man doesn't need to put others down in order to make himself look good. And this is literally the dumbest thing that men fall for when they are dating and going out with women. It's in their nature to test your confidence with various methods. One of those would be a situation where she starts talking bad things about somebody, and then compares you to them, saying that you are better. Almost every guy's ego will like the fact that his lady is making this comparison and he will start to repeat her words, while in reality, he is just digging his own hole. A truly confident man is aware of his qualities and he will be sure to make those stand out and speak for themselves, as he doesn't need to compare himself to anybody else, let alone put somebody down. A confident man is the one who takes the initiative. He always holds responsibility for his own actions and never blames somebody else. He will always express his feelings openly and refrains from making taunting comments. He stands up for what he believes in, and he leads with charisma and approaches without doubting. He knows his own weaknesses and he doesn't fall prey to them. And he doesn't abuse other people's weaknesses when he sees them. He will also always respect the opinions of other people, but he will never seek their approval for any action that he wants to take. And the last but maybe the most important trait of a confident man: he accepts who he is, and he doesn't hide his flaws or change his own opinions and beliefs for anything or anyone. He is aware that he is not perfect and that he will never be perfect, and he will never strive for perfection because he is sure that he is more than enough as he is right now.
How to Always Be Aware of Your Confidence Level and How to Practice Confidence
Dig deeper inside. Is there a particular hobby that you never tried but you would like to? So, what's keeping you from doing so? You should be aware that it will sometimes be rough in the beginning, but it's your interest that should keep you going, and it's your skill that will get more and more reinforced as the time goes by.
Try approaching and talking to complete strangers. This might seem like a nightmare to some of the people, but why? It can be a bit weird and uncomfortable at the beginning, but you can only get as confident before you eventually have to leave your comfort zone and try something new. Make sure to slow down, and try to track your feelings and emotions and those times. See how long does it take you to completely free yourself and engage in a conversation with somebody that you never spoke to. It is indeed a great thing, especially for you loners out there. If you don't show yourself, nobody will show up at your place.
You should never over-apologize. It's okay, you made a mistake, you apologized, that's it. If you apologize too much, it leaves the feeling that you are insecure about yourself. Take the situation and do the consideration from all angles. Also, learn to let go of the toxic people in your life, even if you think that you can't do something without them. Don't let them judge you and get in the way of your success and happiness. Say goodbye to them, and focus on yourself.
Make sure to remove all kinds of jealousy from your thoughts. Jealousy is the killer of confidence. Just think about it for a moment. How are you going to be confident, if you are envious of somebody else?
Keep in mind not to get overconfident with yourself. Having a lot of success does bring a lot of responsibility for it. Don't underestimate something just because you passed it a dozen times. Failures happen because we let our guard down due to underestimation.
And the last thing: if you have to take a risk in order to fulfill your dream, then do it! Even if you fail, get up and keep going. Road to success doesn't mean not failing ever. Road to success is built from failure, but the success is built from learned lessons.